Finer Wine Poem by Adedolapo Olisa

When I talk of my pain
I see your eyes dim
You feel it and sob
Because you know the emotions of the words
But you hide your pain
And you pray for mercy for me
Oh, how I need mercy
Poor, wretched soul that I am

I defy your pity
Because this pain is gooood.
its like soda good without the sugar
I sit in the abyss of my life
knowing death may sound better than life
I dont for a second lose perspective though
If I want muscle, I must rip today's me

My valley of the shadow of death
Only leads to the triumph over my enemies - yesterday's me
It aligns me ever closer to my purpose
This isnt a path, it is the path

the journey, the battle, the trial, and the furnace
Is it wrong? to look out of a dim window and seek the sun?
Is it a lie? to be in sorrow and want momma's kiss
Is it fallacy? for my thoughts to misalign with truth?
This is the normalcy of life
A season to mourn and wish death
Seasons to lose the sweet taste of living
Seasons to long for better even relief
But I zoom out of my hollowness
I see the King of Kings, the I AM
The man that is God that gives me identity
I bask in my thoughts of dejection
Long enough, to breathe in this blissful
This contrasting, refreshing, life giving perspective - the Word of God

I am more than a conqueror
The battle is already won
And oh, how sweet the taste
When I can live in the victory
When the fog clears and the city arises
My sunlight will banish the dawn
At the shore of self's death
Less of me, more of you, more of your will

Please, do not pity me
To have pain is to be alive
Water doesnt taste so good without thirst
I will eat apple till eternity
But Arugula, you have become my honey
Do not pity, I embrace life; its contrast
I see joy through the lens of sorrow
Gain through the pain
Love through apathy
I am new, better, and a finer wine