Four Snortets, A Parody With Fondness For Thomas Stearns Eliot - Poem by Warren Falcon
'Now we come to discover that the moments of agony...are likewise permanent with such permanence as time has...Or even a very good dinner, but the sudden illumination-We had the experience but missed the meaning.' - from 'The Dry Salvages' by T.S. Eliot
Mister, or Sir, rather, Thomas Sterns Eliot left his evening door,
late middle age, having lived into the postmodern 'new' millennium,
having again reiterated his propounded new diet whereupon
wandering on a deserted shore near mumbling twilight one might
meet a most inarticulate soft peach or unutterable yet edible Christ,
or a close match, a little kidding, upon which we may, if we dare,
reiterative quartet playing plaintive though palliatively, dine four
squarely in Piccadilly sempiternal before getting sodden after
sundown, preferably on Friday, which is a good time to do it, to eat
and drink again, remembering that it is end of the week, out of the tube
finally unethered, trousers unrolled at last, the mission to get plastered,
doing lines in the stalls, toilet seat become an altar of dissolution.
But, despite numbness of lips and tongue, of nasal passages,
do not hope that trousers shall roll up again till Monday, and do
not call it fixity. And do not call it fistula for that is to come but not
And who cares? or let us forget. Teach us, O Mannered One,
to care and not to care having lost muscle plasticity which a
good pair of dark socks can cover what was once pliant and
supple, now a gruesome obscenity. Have I overstated?
Shall I overstate again? Shall I? No? not now? how all things
crumble, even a souffle caves from expectation and thus we
wait with dope, we wait without hope for hope would be hope
for another line, and yet another, and we are reduced to shouting
repeatedly shouting, Muther f*cker! Muther f*cker, overwrought,
in the stall, temperatures and ovens not withstanding.
So listen, I said to myself stalling for time for the coke to take
effect, wondering why the hell I mentioned a souffle, to kick
in wait without prematurely crashing, for the night, O Friday,
is still young though I am not so young,
I grow old
I grow old
I unfold a
note roll it
in the bloody
so I said to my soul, yes yes yes wait without eating the dish eaten
last week which gave me the infernal trots, now giving me something
else to think about, f*ck that old Edenic garden, wait without faith that
the waiter will return the dish sent back merely because one can,
because one (note how I go to the third person but f*ck that) , ONE
ONE ONE is really angry at the boss and one is in the stalls not for
coke but for yet another freshly chewed double anus demanding attention.
And all things are stalled for in the stall all is bloody and ONE,
erhebung with motion too too much, squatting, endlessly squatting
wiping squatting wiping ad infinitum of bum unto bumbling attempts
so I said in the stall,
wait, wait dumbly, tongue lagging,
for the dope to kick in, forget the late
arrival at office, f*ck Mondays! the usual scene,
one can recover here by porcelain cool
white o white as
the lines are white
which, too, porcelain, is waiting to be cleaned,
and all things shall be cleaned, but only after
midnight for I shall have left by then having forsaken
all hope and the sink where I have discreetly washed
my skivvies in order to go home again, return
uncomfortable, without support, to throw them in the
turning dryer to dry again for I do not hope to return
again until next week to probably reenact the same
scene again, (bringing another pair of skivvies with
just in case) , the patient server, harassed, must add
and re-add my check again and again because I am
pissed at the boss, at the chittering fetuses mocking, always
mocking, in the shrubbery near the well-used apothecary and
I shall go home foregoing mulberries, for I am too blitzed, having
forgotten the rejected dish, the wish for justice, for mum's steak
and kidney pie, and I have remembered all too late. Alas.
So let us go home then, which is a kind of personal Golgotha,
for which the rent is beyond my means but let us go and
make our supper remembering to take the gonorrhea pill.
No, let us purchase our meal though on a budget, and forget
even all this trivia. Let us forget all that, too, looking in,
deja vu, the bathroom mirror from the stall
(have I left or do I remain?)
Recall then that I can leave the comb unhandled
until Monday morning. It shall not cruelly beckon
again from the toilet, or it can be justifiably ignored,
to comb what is left of what is left to fall, or grow,
but that's a laugh. Come Monday, and only then,
we must find the diminishing part again, searching
scalp and England
all one, or soon shall
The Drying Assuages
'And all is vanity amongst these my ruins, '
says Sweeney, whoever he may be, tidies
up neurotically, gin on the breath for he
is bored unto death but awaits daily the
post for possible liberty which he took
once with a wealthy widow who mistook
him for someone else. The scar forever
reminds of dumb lusts and dumber luck
for loot never dreaming she was a black
belt. His teeth, now wooden, remind him
'be mindful of the good against all wants',
and so he sits, wise, chaste, chiseled,
a wastrel in ruins reading Sam Beckett
but that is another story written
in stars Centauric
qua qua qua
sisk boom ba
near the corner
but o not I
when the clot
broke and people
help at all as I
pale, paler still
a tailor's wall
he, too, no
help at all
to call the cops
It closes me in
again to recall
qua qua qua Fuhquaad
amongst the forgotten roses
where one is hungover in the
supposes he began with that
he can never finish like this,
pissed, which goes on, which
goes on, 'I can't go on but
I must because I am losing my
hair and so on' dot dot dot into
eternity (should one believe
in such but may use the idea
of such, eternity, go forward
or behind living in the blue rind
of the sky crumbling on the
nether shore where relentless
waves tease/disturb relentless
terns tracing uremic rims of foam
shall I call then eternity a
home for shells, the curve of
space? disgrace myself yet again
with belief, any one, believe
that such shores are a where
after all, a place to shelter
where each wave is somewhere
by someone or something
counted as is every hair
numbered counted still
they fall as do waves into
should the sun so shine
for what is left to comb
of shore and hair is a
disturbance of fractions
refractions the lonely
redactions of what is
perceived, felt, spilt
upon the chillier pate?
and so I must wear a hat but let us not go then,
you and I, patiently into all that now but come the
now then here then
remembering the chaffing bloody garters
O the stall, stall, stall, we all go into the stall
Nevermind, just follow the trail of yesterday's shoe,
talcum and dust mingle taciturn
undoing intention to haste
powdery traces unhidden guidance
the prayed for thunderstorm never come to wash
tell-tale treads reveal some rash is spread,
scaling crud of gory glory and more stains to wash
but what of shame? Do we not hope to turn it to other
than no more to blame? Thus we gait without soap,
panicked, for what is to come, to scrub, to un-stain,
but soon, the boss is pacing. But what is to be gained
in running knowing already what waits ahead?
Another annus. Another anus.
Hidden children in the mulberries
chittering, heard but unseen.
Note to self:
Must take Thorazine before bedtime.
Goddamn wankers! !
But let us leave them for another dosage,
for another week's prelude sans qualudes,
the sullen departure to work again combing
the faces in the crowd pitching, another aphasia
I prefer to call an 'occluded interlude', yet
another distracted fit caught in a sun ray upon
seeing that the poorly stitched seam hastily done
between the shower and the tepid tea,
between the sorting through the dirty laundry,
the deepening ennui for something to wear,
o do not hope to wear it again and again evergreen
(whatever, BTW, 'ennui' is, but it is fun to say and
in this aesthetic some other language needs to be
gratuitously writ to make the poetic voice more valid
if Americans attempt to art, 'writ' is a good word, too,
let me then write it repeatedly: writ writ writ, to wit)
begins yet again, o Ariadne, obsessive compulsive
to the end,
Thorazine Thorazine Thorazine
must must must remember to wit!
...to unravel that which is still, to look on the
bright side, yet another beginning, the public,
pathetic, peripatetic tugging of shirts and blouses
over the widening rip in the thinning trouser's seat,
pant legs remembering to be gay scrolling ever upward.
And yet we still call these knobs 'ankles', forgoing gaity.
Nothing to be read here, now, in Merry Old,
but old age, varicose. the blank stare dreaming
comatose, of repressed rage, still pissed at the boss,
shamed of ankles, the chittering twats in mulberry bush
near home, following, following
No wonder these
little snots at me laugh.
Them I'll clobber
here then now then
Shall we turn the page again?
Shall we? Shall we turn over yet
another leaf? Shall we repeat it all
again forgetting the unraveling stitch?
The itch and the burn?
The Itch and the burn returning,
for one bought the store brand and not the original.
Now it hurts to sit or stand. Shall I say it again,
under fetid breath, dentures stained?
Sit or stand.
Sit or stand!
Now goddamn it,
bloody move on!
I shall say it again because I can.
But later. But let us remember
now then, here then
hidden laughter behind
hands pointing at loose stitches,
Forgot to do laundry.
Another note to self.
Do the wash.
Still, it is a good Friday so, sighing,
at last forgetting all Mondays past
and to come
not withstanding, for it hurts either
way to sit or stand, the late pay check,
piss poor pittance, mind, is cashed
probably on bloody Monday but
never mind. Let us presently pour
our penurious libations
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