Grandad's Time Poem by Kevin Eaglesfield

When 'e were a lad
Life was much less complicated;
Mobiles were what you hung above cots,
Microwaves were what shy girls did to catch your eye,
And hand-helds were part of courting.
When he went on-line he was on a train,
A hard drive was Derby to Cornwall,
And surfing was what they did in the sea.
Spam was just a teatime treat,
And a forward slash was best left unmentioned.
The only download grandad saw
Was when the coalman came.
Before fires were pretend.
Sometimes grandad nipped to the shop,
He didn't have a retail experience
And each shop door led outside.
He could still choose his coffees then though-
White or black,
And his idea of a ready meal
Were his pack-up sandwiches.
Everything was fried in lard because
Olive oil was for earache.
Male grooming was a bar of soap and a razor
And smoking was encouraged by doctors.
That was in the days when the doctor used to call,
When conkers, marbles and running around
Weren't dangerous games,
When children and strangers used grandad's surname,
When people sorted things out
Instead of 'addressing issues'
And used to say yes instead of absolutely,
When tradesmen built or cleaned or fixed
Or delivered and didn't have 'solutions'
Or 'logistics' painted on their van.
When every letter had a stamp
And the post office could be reached on foot,
When football matches kicked off at 3pm saturday
And grandad could afford to watch The Rams,
Go to the pictures, eat fish and chips any time
And hop on a bus on a whim.
Christmas started in December.
Mind you, they did have rationing, smog, tin baths,
Capital punishment, polio, the cane, outside toilets,
War and eight foot of snow every year,
But they were happy.