Green Sea Turtles Are Good To Eat Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

In the seventies, a company, that will remain unnamed, had an idea,
Involving the use of tropical islands in the Caribee.
The Company's in the business of supplying food,
For people's health, which all agree is good.

Their plan was to harvest Green Turtles from the sea.
Now they knew these large turtles are an endangered specie,
But they reasoned, by growing them in tanks and setting them free,
Numbers would increase and then there would be more for you and me.

So they put turtle hatchlings on an island they own,
And sure enough into the sea, they were gone.
Years did past and the turtles grew,
To a size just right for a tasty stew.

Alas, it was bad timing for their venture, as you shall see,
They ran afoul of environmental groups who are difficult to please.
Can't do that, they were told,
They're endangered, not to be sold.

Sad to say, the Company lost its' shirt on this venture,
So the issue should be closed on the adventure.
Except for the efforts of scientist two,
Doctor's Ira Sham and Betty Blue.

Thought they, why not use Genetic Engineering,
To make the Green Turtles more aggressive and daring.
So with the Green Turtle they found a Snapper to mate,
Which predestined the new hatchling's fate.

Thus could their turtle be identified, and there's more,
They emerged, with shell unlike any before.
Soon was discovered the snout of a nose,
Had an ending which could deliver many sharp blows.

They had forgotten the snapper has a well deserved name,
Alligator Snapper, by those who encountered him, such was his fame.
As all scientists do, they focused much on the point of the hour,
And ignored that which would bring their results into disfavor.

True it was their turtles had a much higher growing rate.
And the Company could be sold on the fact that profits await.
But with the protest of environmentalist many,
The Company said no, we have other problems' aplenty.

The scientist continued with their project in stealth anyway,
To the island off Barbados did they go, and in the sand did they play.
Along with fun in the sun and much merriment,
They took their wards which were of genetic bent.

In the warm sand did they hatch in the early morning mist,
(The turtles, not the scientist.)
When back home, the Company discovered the adventuresome play,
Of the Doctors who charged time for each sunny day.

Pink slipped them, they did. Now ending the story I must,
But there's more to tell and you want to hear, I trust.
For you see their turtles after goin' to sea for a while,
Engaged in reproductive passions to bewitch and beguile.

This select few and others as well, returned to the shore,
Of the origin from which they had emerged from, before.
When the new batch of hatchlings emerged as turtles anew,
They were drawn to the lights of the cities, all orange, yellow and blue.

Green Snappers could care less about bright light,
They were hungry, and a dog or cat was just right.
Into the lakes, rivers, creeks and streams now they dwell,
And to the gulf and all oceans they went pell-mell.

They spread like wild fire with natural enemies few,
Even the environmentalist became alarmed of this biology new.
What was the answer to this eco-disaster?
No time for scientist, years seeking answer.

The solution was where the research began.
The good Company, had just such a plan.

They taste good!

Note: The company, green sea turtles, Caribee islands, alligator snapping turtles, and environmentalist all exist. The company did embark on this bit of harvesting turtles from the sea, but gave it up when the environmentalist got involved and the United States government prohibited importation of either turtle meat or polished turtle shell jewelry. Green sea turtles grow to about 70 pounds when of harvest size and are poached throughout the Caribbean. Had the private venture been allowed to proceed, the abundance of green sea turtles would have likely brought an end to poaching and moved the turtles from the endangered animal list. Reference: Feed Management, January 1997, page 3.

Scientists named, the process of crossing sea turtles with the snapper and the result is pure spoof.

By the way, turtles do taste good.