Grocery Shopping Poem by George Hunter

Hidey Hi, Hidey Ho!
I need to go to the grocery sto.
To get some food for my old hound dog
He eats like a poor starved Hampshire hog.
Also get a treat for my pussycat, Miss Pip
Who longs for a taste of fresh catnip.
And some bacon and fresh eggs for myself
And some canned goods for the pantry shelf.
A loaf of that tasty raisin bread
To cover with luscious strawberry spread.
I'll tell you what I really wish
Some clams and oysters and other fish.
Also some booze and a pack of Miller Lite
Enough to last me through the night.

So I went to the nearest SaveMart
And loaded all that stuff into my cart.
Went to the counter to check it out
Cost seventy-five dollars without a doubt.
Wrote a rubber check, with a straight face
Then in double time. I was outta that place.

A few hours later cops came to my door
Said we know you cheated that grocery store.
Your latex check bounced up to the ceiling
You have no grounds for an appealing
And we won't put up with double dealing.

So now I'm in the local clink
Didn't even have time to finish my drink.
The moral of this story is not so funny
"Don't go shopping when short of money."
But I was hungry and thirsty and couldn't wait
Such is the fickle finger of fate.