Brian Patten

(7 February 1946 / Liverpool / England)

Gust Becos I Cud Not Spel - Poem by Brian Patten

Gust becos I cud not spel
It did not mean I was daft
When the boys in school red my riting
Some of them laffed

But now I am the dictater
They have to rite like me
Utherwise they cannot pas

Some of the girls were ok
But those who laffed a lot
Have al bean rownded up
And hav recintly bean shot

The teecher who corrected my speling
As not been shot at al
But four the last fifteen howers
As bean standing up against a wal

He has to stand ther until he can spel
Figgymisgrugifooniyn the rite way
I think he will stand ther for ever
I just inventid it today

Comments about Gust Becos I Cud Not Spel by Brian Patten

  • Luke Templewalsh (1/21/2016 3:08:00 PM)

    I was a kid but a lot of people I still know in Liverpool, and my Mum and Dad, knew Brian. Well I was in a pub last week, and I started reading a poem out loud, and this stranger gave me hell for it and told me to stop. Next day I saw Terry, Derek Marley, and Sammy Abdullah, and told them about that, and Sammy told me a story about Brian from the 60's which was too rude to repeat here. Anyway, that was why I came to be finding this poem and writing a poem in response after seeing these old photos of Brian with big curly hair, from the 60's/70's era I grew up, in in the same neighbourhood too - Liverpool 8.

    Brain Pattern

    reading perms allowed
    'snot poplar
    a poplar is a tree
    brian's pattern's curly
    not a perm you see?

    sometimes perms are poplar
    like keegan's event shoe alley
    but you have to get up early
    for the bird
    to catch the pea

    i speshully hate the tories
    for their spelling bee
    but brian's patterns
    is very gud
    hence its poplar-larity

    it's not male patten baldness
    as everywun can see
    if you rearly wunt to rite a perm
    just rite wun in a tree
    (Report) Reply

    2 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • (2/2/2015 5:04:00 PM)

    This is the funniest thing I've seen for quite some time. I have voted it a ten. (Report) Reply

  • Martin O'Neill (3/8/2012 2:39:00 PM)

    I luv dick taters/. I voted for im. (Report) Reply

  • (9/13/2006 10:13:00 AM)

    Is this poem about G. Bush? I've seen the note he wrote to C. Rice, and he does like torture.... Hmmm... -chuck (Report) Reply

  • (12/2/2004 9:09:00 AM)

    isn't this poem wonderful? (Report) Reply

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Read poems about / on: school, today, red, girl

Poem Submitted: Saturday, August 16, 2003

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