Naseer Ahmed Nasir

Rookie - 51 Points (April 01,1954 / Pakistan)

Haikus (The Moon) - Poem by Naseer Ahmed Nasir

The moon stared hiding itself,
The night was sitting
Nude in the balcony


Every phalanx was lighted,
In her closed fists
Was it the moon or the firefly?


The night all bared,
And from behind the curtains
Of, the coconut trees, the moon peeping.


The milky heat of the moon,
The frozen sky melts
Despair poured, drop-by-drop.


On the coastal rocks,
Hanging its head, the moon
Sits, before committing suicide.


The decay of the night,
In the shades of the places of worship
The moon too feels exhausted.

(1985, Translated from Urdu into English by Dr. M.Q. Khan, India)

Comments about Haikus (The Moon) by Naseer Ahmed Nasir

  • Rookie - 51 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (10/13/2009 12:01:00 AM)

    Message from Lillian Thomas:

    From: Lillian Thomas (Houston United States; Female; 60)
    To: Naseer Ahmed Nasir
    Date Time: 10/10/2009 8: 39: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)

    Subject: re: 6 Haikus (The Moon)

    Dear Naseer.
    6 haiku, lovely little poems, miniatures of brilliant poesy, but not haiku, if you mean the Japanese form. I don't mean the We have many English writers who try their hand at this form, thinking it is only 5-7-5. But to be at all true to the form, the Japanese use no poetic devices, esp. no anthropomorphism. The images are stunning without calling them haiku.
    LT (Report) Reply

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  • Rookie - 1 Points Sandra Martyres (10/10/2009 9:19:00 AM)

    Delightful haikus Naseer, you have really brought out the poetic magic of the Moon..I too liked the Suicide one...brilliant.10 (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,354 Points Louis Rams (10/9/2009 8:31:00 PM)

    your haikus show the beauty of the moon so clearly.

    a double ten (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karin Anderson (sorry can't vote or comment) . (10/9/2009 7:18:00 AM)

    They are all highly original and the first one I found particularly provocative. Like the other poets, the suicide one is wonderful. I enjoyed the last one too where the moon feels exhausted. 10
    love Karin (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (10/8/2009 9:01:00 PM)

    Beautiful Haikus, Naseer.The magic of moonlight cannot be overestimated.
    Each one is extraordinary in its own way, but the suicide one is
    my favorite.10/10.

    Warm wishes,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 904 Points Antonio Liao (10/8/2009 7:46:00 PM)

    if someone feel each lines your poem's a magical sublime of refreshing
    mind....something secret that relaxes the mind and the nerve....such poem
    brings the rainbow down to surface our teary world.....God bless.....a 10 + (Report) Reply

  • Rookie bye bye... bye bye (10/8/2009 6:05:00 PM)

    I liked them all, very much, but especially the coconut one and even more the suicide one. A refreshing way of looking at the moon. I read these tiny poems as separated from each other. I suppose you wrote them at different times? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 27 Points Sahar Sahar (10/8/2009 1:46:00 PM)

    Very softly touching and romantic poems with delicacy, and sentimentality, exuberant with heart felt emotions...... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 149 Points Kranthi Pothineni (10/8/2009 12:55:00 PM)

    I hadn't read till date such a lovely romantic piece, specially on moon. Terrific imaginary. Tones of appreciation to you and the translator too. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Lillian Thomas (10/8/2009 11:44:00 AM)

    beautiful images! good word choices! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 274 Points Kesav Easwaran (10/8/2009 7:11:00 AM)

    different shades of moon...colorful all...thanks...10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Raj Nandy (10/8/2009 6:54:00 AM)

    -Raj (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Patrick A. Martin (10/7/2009 11:12:00 PM)

    If I were teetering on the edge of a cliff and suddenly I disappeared would it not be natural to assume I may have jumped and if I jumped would it not be considered suicide. Who says the moon has no heat a ligt bulb emits a milky glow but try changing it after it has been on for a while and see if your hand doesn't get burnt.
    I like this work Naseer even though I'm not fond of this form of poetry. Perhaps because I'm not clever enough to be good at it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 431 Points Ravi A (10/7/2009 10:26:00 PM)

    Excellent imagery but for two points - 'milky heat' and 'the moon committing suicide'. These imagery do not suite to romantic taste of man. Moon doesn't instil such a thought in man. You should have read one of the stories of Mopassant wherein the moonlight plays the central character of a love story. Having read that, this imagery do not go at par with it according to me. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Carol Gall (10/7/2009 10:13:00 PM)

    very good haiku.......... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Poetic Soul (10/7/2009 9:44:00 PM)

    A interesting translated poem, I appreciated the whole imagery.10/10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Samanyan Lakshminarayanan (10/7/2009 9:19:00 PM)

    various shades of the moon in these lovely haikus (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Rehana Nazli (10/7/2009 3:33:00 PM)

    Fascination about the moon both in poetic world and astrology is never ending story. An interesting translated poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 192 Points Joseph Poewhit (10/7/2009 2:33:00 PM)

    The moon does have it's phases (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Poem Edited: Wednesday, June 29, 2011

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