Naseer Ahmed Nasir

Rookie - 18 Points (April 01,1954 / Pakistan)

Haikus (The Moon)


The moon stared hiding itself,
The night was sitting
Nude in the balcony

********

Every phalanx was lighted,
In her closed fists
Was it the moon or the firefly?

********

The night all bared,
And from behind the curtains
Of, the coconut trees, the moon peeping.

********

The milky heat of the moon,
The frozen sky melts
Despair poured, drop-by-drop.

********

On the coastal rocks,
Hanging its head, the moon
Sits, before committing suicide.

********

The decay of the night,
In the shades of the places of worship
The moon too feels exhausted.


(1985, Translated from Urdu into English by Dr. M.Q. Khan, India)

Submitted: Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Edited: Wednesday, June 29, 2011

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Comments about this poem (Haikus (The Moon) by Naseer Ahmed Nasir )

  • Gold Star - 10,463 Points * Sunprincess * (5/3/2014 2:08:00 PM)

    .......this one is amazing....and totally caught me off guard....enjoyed these...
    ~On the coastal rocks,
    Hanging its head, the moon
    Sits, before committing suicide.~ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 18 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (10/13/2009 12:01:00 AM)

    Message from Lillian Thomas:

    From: Lillian Thomas (Houston United States; Female; 60)
    To: Naseer Ahmed Nasir
    Date Time: 10/10/2009 8: 39: 00 AM (GMT -6: 00)

    Subject: re: 6 Haikus (The Moon)

    Dear Naseer.
    6 haiku, lovely little poems, miniatures of brilliant poesy, but not haiku, if you mean the Japanese form. I don't mean the We have many English writers who try their hand at this form, thinking it is only 5-7-5. But to be at all true to the form, the Japanese use no poetic devices, esp. no anthropomorphism. The images are stunning without calling them haiku.
    Sincerely,
    LT (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Martyres (10/10/2009 9:19:00 AM)

    Delightful haikus Naseer, you have really brought out the poetic magic of the Moon..I too liked the Suicide one...brilliant.10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 619 Points Louis Rams (10/9/2009 8:31:00 PM)

    your haikus show the beauty of the moon so clearly.

    a double ten (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karin Anderson (sorry can't vote or comment) . (10/9/2009 7:18:00 AM)

    They are all highly original and the first one I found particularly provocative. Like the other poets, the suicide one is wonderful. I enjoyed the last one too where the moon feels exhausted. 10
    love Karin (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (10/8/2009 9:01:00 PM)

    Beautiful Haikus, Naseer.The magic of moonlight cannot be overestimated.
    Each one is extraordinary in its own way, but the suicide one is
    my favorite.10/10.

    Warm wishes,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 791 Points Antonio Liao (10/8/2009 7:46:00 PM)

    if someone feel each lines your poem say....it's a magical sublime of refreshing
    mind....something secret that relaxes the mind and the nerve....such poem
    brings the rainbow down to surface our teary world.....God bless.....a 10 + (Report) Reply

  • Rookie bye bye... bye bye (10/8/2009 6:05:00 PM)

    I liked them all, very much, but especially the coconut one and even more the suicide one. A refreshing way of looking at the moon. I read these tiny poems as separated from each other. I suppose you wrote them at different times? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Sahar Sahar (10/8/2009 1:46:00 PM)

    Very softly touching and romantic poems with delicacy, and sentimentality, exuberant with heart felt emotions...... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 1 Points Kranthi Pothineni (10/8/2009 12:55:00 PM)

    I hadn't read till date such a lovely romantic piece, specially on moon. Terrific imaginary. Tones of appreciation to you and the translator too. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Lillian Thomas (10/8/2009 11:44:00 AM)

    beautiful images! good word choices! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 62 Points Kesav Easwaran (10/8/2009 7:11:00 AM)

    different shades of moon...colorful all...thanks...10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Raj Nandy (10/8/2009 6:54:00 AM)

    VERY NICE HAIKUS! 10!
    -Raj (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Patrick A. Martin (10/7/2009 11:12:00 PM)

    If I were teetering on the edge of a cliff and suddenly I disappeared would it not be natural to assume I may have jumped and if I jumped would it not be considered suicide. Who says the moon has no heat a ligt bulb emits a milky glow but try changing it after it has been on for a while and see if your hand doesn't get burnt.
    I like this work Naseer even though I'm not fond of this form of poetry. Perhaps because I'm not clever enough to be good at it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 13 Points Ravi A (10/7/2009 10:26:00 PM)

    Excellent imagery but for two points - 'milky heat' and 'the moon committing suicide'. These imagery do not suite to romantic taste of man. Moon doesn't instil such a thought in man. You should have read one of the stories of Mopassant wherein the moonlight plays the central character of a love story. Having read that, this imagery do not go at par with it according to me. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Carol Gall (10/7/2009 10:13:00 PM)

    very good haiku.......... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Poetic Soul (10/7/2009 9:44:00 PM)

    A interesting translated poem, I appreciated the whole imagery.10/10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Samanyan Lakshminarayanan (10/7/2009 9:19:00 PM)

    various shades of the moon in these lovely haikus (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Rehana Nazli (10/7/2009 3:33:00 PM)

    Fascination about the moon both in poetic world and astrology is never ending story. An interesting translated poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 26 Points Joseph Poewhit (10/7/2009 2:33:00 PM)

    The moon does have it's phases (Report) Reply

Read all 20 comments »

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