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Jim Yerman


Hair The Musical...After 50 Years


It hit to me as I watched Hair the Musical last week how the times really are a changin'
One look in the mirror and the lyrics to Hair I must be rearrangin'...

(Sung to the Tune of Hair...with my apologies)

I ask myself why, why was I such a hairy guy?
I was hairy noon and nighty night night, but now my hair is out of sight
My hair is gone, where did it go, don't ask me why cause I don't know
It's not for lack of bread, that my hair is dead
Darlin'

Now my head is bald, my hair has been recalled
My scalp is shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
There's no more hair up there, BALD, I look like a cue ball, BALD
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy.

Bald, bald, bald, bald, bald,
Bald, Bald, Bald, Can't grow it, or mow it, everybody knows that I'm bald

No longer does it fly in the breeze or get caught in the tees, there's no home for the fleas cause I'm bald.
No home for the fleas, no hive for the buzzin' bees
Where are the birds, there ain't no words for the barren, the ruin, the wasteland of my:

Bald, bald, bald, bald, bald,
Bald, Bald, Bald, Can't grow it, or mow it, everybody knows that I'm bald

They call me slick, chrome dome, shiny, bowling ball, Buddah, Baldilocks, and shiny
My head is smooth, glossy, polished, shining, streaming, gleaming, flaxen,
Lustrous, glistening, satiny, sunny, sheeny,
So much abuse and wisecracking, all because my hair is lacking. 

Oh say, can you see the shine? 
If you can, then my hair is gone

Bald, bald, bald, bald, bald,
Bald, Bald, Bald, Can't grow it, or mow it, everybody knows that I'm bald.

No one will be ga-ga at the go-go when they see me in my toga
My toga looks like crap without hair...
If I had a wig I would wear it, Halleluha I swear it, Halleluja Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me? 

Bald, bald, bald, bald, bald,
Bald, Bald, Bald, Can't grow it, or mow it, everybody knows that I'm bald


Submitted: Saturday, July 19, 2014

Topic of this poem: humor


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