If Only Poem by Alyssa Wanii

If only I was the light that guided you through the dark tunnel called life.
If only I was the reason you kept following through with your goals and dreams especially the hard ones.
If only if only...
If only I was the person you called late at night just to ask how I was doing and what I was up to.
The person you would tap on the shoulder and whisper something in their ear.
The person you would make silly faces at during classes, in the hall and in the lunchroom.
The person you trusted with all your secrets.
If only if only...
If only I was the person who would talk to when everyone else ignored you.
If only I was the person you would walk with down the sidewalk watching cars pass by.
If only I was the person you spilt a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with.
If only I was the one.
If only if only...
But now the years have gone by...
and the leaves have changed colors many times....
and the moon has been full for so many to see and yet I was not the light, the reason or the person.
I was only the object...
a part of the scenery...
a small piece of matter that took up the space that was empty in your life.
But now you come back to me begging me and asking me to let you in my life.
But all I have to say is “no”.
For all the many times I let you come into my life you would pass them like you passing me in the hall whenever I said “Hey”.
The pain that I once felt in my heart is now ancient history.
Like that one powerful sentence or saying in a chapter of a social studies book.
You were once able to fool me then but now I am stronger from my experiences and now as I turn my back on you and shut the door all I can think is “If only you had listened to me when I said I loved you.”