Illicit Love Poem by Aparna Chatterjee

Are you lonely, my love
the love of your life
loves another man?
Are you in pain, my love
the love of your life
needs the other man?

Does your heart ache, my love
the love of your life
cannot forget that man?

Do I hurt you, my love
when I say to you
I can't get over that man?

Can you accept - my love
the love of your life
thinks of the other man
always, all the time?

No - I am not the other woman
in his life - as nothing works
between us...
yet I keep thinking of him
feel so deeply for him
and yes - my love
wish to marry him
bed him and beget him
children...
like every woman does
for the man she loves...

Is it too much of a sin, my love
to love more than one man?

Tell me - my love
why do I need him so much
miss him every moment
of my lonesome life
being your wife
I need the husband in him

And yet - I know
I cannot do without you
I cannot choose him over you
do I forget him
and forgive myself
for the sin of being in love
with two men in my life?

Tell me - my love
how do I do this?
I am directionless...
feeling down and out
my heart in pieces
wish I could share
my life with you
and him.

Too much for the asking
I suppose...
I am being avaricious
and maybe impractical

Tell me, my love
when was love pragmatic
when was love logical?
When did people say
love had a lot of rationale?
Love was always blind
blind as a bat
love feels with the heart
mind doesn't work

And here I am, my love
at your doorstep
in your home
beside you, in your arms
loving you and yet
pondering over him...

Why did God give me so much pain?
Why did He fill my heart with
adulterous love?
Why did Destiny bring me
to this crossroad?

Why do I have to choose
between the two of you?
Sometimes I feel
that I could do
with neither of you
for both of you
are so precious to me
I cannot hurt one
and please the other...

They say: Love is pure,
pristine a feeling
complete devotion
and adulation
for the one man
a woman always loves
and loves forever...
but what happens to the love
a woman feels for the man in her life
and the other man outside?

Is it so sinful a feeling?
Is it so detesting?
Do all the women
in this world
love only one man
through all their life?
And all the men
just think of only one woman:
their so-called wedded wife?

So many questions
in mind
for a heart that loves
and loves and loves...
the two men
in a woman's life

Any Answers...