I'm Not A Man Of Society Poem by Timothy Long

Many will criticize the way my life has been lived,
Never understanding the hows or whys it happened as it did, I spent so many nights alone wishing one would find me or hold me, all that remains in the present is a chain of memories, I detested being alone until I consumed it, my sadness has become a coping mechanism, many will ask why not change it? how can you change when no one wants or has a need for you? The bitterness will become acceptance as emotions fade away, maybe that's why I smoke? to distracts from all the faults of my existence, what you think is needed will never find you, life is at best a chance meeting if your lucky,
For millions like myself we know how it's all going to end, by isolation or a suicide call,
Maybe an accident or disease can claim us,
They say life is a blessing to be treasured, I can accept life this way but can you? Not in a group of friends nor a line of strangers, hate your self if need be, once your hopes are crushed and you give up delusions, it will get easier but a boring life is better than none at all, I know hope is not going to come, it's ok to accept yourself, no one else will, I smoked hoping to get cancer, I drank hoping to drown in my own bile, I cut to feel something, the pills didn't work, so now all I can do is smirk, if you need to be anything, don't be what society wants us to be, be your self and feel free.