nadia abduljabbar

(25/5/1957 / Makkah)

Incest


Khadijah entered my office room,
In my Office hours with her hazel-
Nut greenesh eyes pierceing through
Mine, like pullets, that made me shrink
And shiver. Her eyes said to mine: “ You
Are my last harbour and shelter,
Please DON’T let me down”.

Could not I,
But shake from such a plea,
without saying a word
She handed me a paper,
I began to read through,
It was a poem on a man who is supposed
To protect her, instead he tried to invade
Or rathe rape her.
I could control the clustring tears
Inside;
I do not want to show pity
It is not healthy for her
Now to see pity in the face
From which she is seeking
Support and strength.
But sympathy is allright
In such a phase.
“Who is this beast CHILD”?
I asked her in a trembling voice,
With trembling lips,
“FATHER”, she replied.

I looked at Khadijah
As if I see her for the first time,
My BRILLIANT student, is a symbol
Of BEAUTY from every angle.
Beautiful English, beautiful verbal ability
Beautiful poetry, beautiful mind,
Beautiful brownish wavy hair,
And extremely beautiful green
Hazel nut big eyes.
With beautiful nose,
Rosy full lips,
And not too long neck.
Khadijah’s complixion
Is a world by itself,
For in her blood there is
A mixture of pure tribal
And Russian or Eastern
Euoropean gens.
Inside myself I said:
“BEAUTY is a curse sometimes”.

“Anybody else other than father”?
Asked I, “Oh yes, so many of them
Since I was just a child”,
“You see they are all dirty creatures”,
She continued, “WE EDUCATED
PEOPLE are NEVER to generalize
On a nation, country, or a gender”,
Interrupted I, she withdrew with
A smile saying: “ you are right’,
She continued: Father of mother’s
Husband and his brothers,
But always the door was
flung open, and nothing happened,
Then she asked all of a sudden;
Ms. Nadia Is there God
And why He does nothing?
The shock of her question
Almost killed me from within,
Yes, Khadijah, Allah or The
Most Kind and Merciful
Does Exist and He is sending you
A lot of massages: one of them
Is in the door that was flung,
The second in your coming
Here and may be many others.
Sometimes it takes us a while
To understand His massages.

She apprehended for a while,
Then said yes I can understand
One now, He sent me a special
Man who loves me so much,
There are many proposals,
but this one is so beautiful
From inside far more than the outside,
Who cares for the outside.

Intellectually, he is a good match,
I am overwhelmed by his tenderness,
We discuss every thing on earth,
And he understands even my daring jokes,
I said oh that’s great;
Then I commented: “POOR us women all
We truly need is love and companionship”.


“But one thing worries me still
She added:
I am rather plump and he is too thin”,
Stop being influenced by
The media thing, it is an illusion
Not reality,
I said: “the same is my case,
But my fiance likes curvy women,
Though he works in the media,
But his taste is not influenced
By them”.
Any way size does not matter
In heart domain, I looked in her eyes
And winked with a smile
Saying “except sometimes”,
The girl laughed from my racy
Joke which I used to break
Fear and ice that creeps
When discussing
Sensitive topics.
I added “you know what teased
Me from my fiance at the very
beginning”, She said what, I continued
“ the fact that he could put one leg
On the other, while I could not since
I gained weight.” Khadijah laughed
whole heartedly saying that’s hilarious,
That’s hilarious.

I liked this young girl’s philosophy
So much; it reminded me
Of the the handsome
Mightymouse man,
“Tell him everything Khadijah”,
“And give him the chance to stand
By you as fast as possible, ”
“If he retreats just slam the door,
And my home is open for you,
Just leave that filthy house.”

Days later she came to me
With a pale face,
We signed the official
Paper after a battle
With father; what we
Call in ‘Hejaz’ “Melkah”,
I gaspped, “ Look Khadijah
The word has a very dirty
Meaning; it means ownership,
We own no man and
Certainly no man can own
Us, even if his dowery
Is a million, we are all
Owned by God and
His regulations,
Do you get me? ”
She nodded
While tears fell
On her cheecks
I stood to hugg
Her saying:
“But why BABY girl
A bride is crying”,
She said he said
My kiss is a professional
One” and I felt like
Killing all men,
In the same time
I wanted to laugh
And to cry
“Threaten to leave
Him just one time,
If he repeats
It and do leave him
If he does so,
Arab men or many of them,
To be fair, are brought up
To have hallucination concerning
Virginity, so until he is sure
You are totally his,
He wont calm down.
But don’t let him be used
To hurt you verbally
Or other wise.

Days later she called
Me from Rhyiad
I am so happy with him,
And I was so happy for her.

For years, My students
Would come to me
With their different abuses
Carried like mountains on their
Shoulders and hearts,
And I, who am I, Am just
A reader in Literature
Which deals a lot with psychology
Especially that of Shakespeare
Such as Hamlet and King Lear,
Yet students came to me
For advice and I did as much
As I could for advice then
Let a good psychiatrist
Continue the process,
If the issue needs so.


When the accident for
My late fiance took place
She called me crying:
I said don’t cry my little
Girl from my fate
God has a wisdom
Behind pain,
That we cannot
Comprehend, but at least
One of us got a noble
Companion to live with.
At least one of us is temporarly
Happy in this LIFE.

Jeddah
9 March 2014

Submitted: Sunday, March 09, 2014
Edited: Monday, March 10, 2014

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