Inferno; The Absence Of Innocence Poem by Majdoleen (Maggie) Sukayri

I am a child.
I am every child.
I am the embodiment of all innocence.
I am loved by all.
Angels hum heavenly lullabies as I lay sleeping in my crib.
God protects me from all evils of the world.
I know of no sins.
I feel no pain.
Am I not but a dream of adolescence?

A picturesque expression fills my face
as I wonder how these years have changed me.
Could it be that I once knew the true purity of life?
Was this reality…
or was I blind to the truly twisted state of mankind?
Why do I see it all now?
How was I raped of all innocence?
Have I become them?
Am I now corrupted?
Do I dare to speak of innocence,
or purity of the soul
when all I see and all I have become conflicts?

I conceal my spiteful grin with gleaming sad eyes.
My wit, my sarcasm reveal my cynical nature …
they are the voice of the ugliness I hide.
The sand is gathering at the bottom of my hourglass…
nearing the end.
I'm losing grip, and I fall…
I go deeper and deeper into an abyss of amoral souls.
Now certain I'm losing it all.
Not a shred of innocence will lie with me.

I am relieved.
I am no child.
I know of no innocence.
The fallen angels comfort me in my degenerative state.
God unlocked the doors of hell and left no shred of evident purity…
for I am what you fear.
Am I not but the devil reincarnate?

Drained and lost I now raise my flag of defeat.
I have lost myself in this downfall.
Unrecognized…
I stagger from darkness into another,
as I follow shadows of lost days.
I keep a wary eye above my shoulders,
in search of the child I once lost.

I curse the events, the days;
I curse all the reasons behind my loss;
I curse my pride.
Is it all really gone?
Have all these comforts been evaporated by my inferno?
Do I dare unfold these events…
and see what's underneath?
If I peel off those layers of experience,
will I find me?