Insults, Tiny And Polite Poem by John W. McEwers

She told me my arms looked like Siamese onion stems
and that my face reminded her to wipe

She said I spoke like a birthing muskrat
and laughed like a severed gas pipe

She gave me Reeboks as a get well soon
when I broke both of my legs

She sent me photos of the new guy she's with
posing in the nude and flexing

She sent report cards from my daughter
showing how well she has done

Invited me to her 10th birthday
time and place: whenever and surface of the sun

She tells me that the kids now call
this naked lawyer daddy

I thank her for her kindnesses
and think sometimes that maybe not being here
wouldn't be so bad.