Treasure Island

Just the Regular Scotty Dogg

(Don't rightly remember. They always called me Dogg / The Potato Fields, Indiana)

Iron Chef Wanna Be


Iron Chef Wanna Be

*Implode* grab that knife and start.
Already got pot on. Mario says O.O.
Small dice. Whip up cream and add
Her lovely carrots. So orange, and we
leave her skin. Plus dirt. Plus tops.

Don’t clean that damn pot!
Burned,
just a little. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Hell, Rosemary, get in there too! Get
in the pool with Beans. Say “Hello, ”
fer’ cry-sakes!

Mario is stupid; rub
butter all over the outside of the
darn skillet and fry crap outta it.
Break. Drink glass of wine. Health.

PRE-HEAT.
And, don’t burn bread
if you know what’s good. For you.
“Too much wine.” Know what I mean?

Just set the table while I smell it.
A little salt? Taste.
Wrinkle nose.

Pour it all down the damn drain.

Submitted: Monday, October 31, 2011
Edited: Wednesday, November 09, 2011

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Comments about this poem (Iron Chef Wanna Be by Just the Regular Scotty Dogg )

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  • Ed Nigma (1/13/2014 5:56:00 PM)

    Laughing Out Loud! I was entertained the whole way through you kept my attention which is hard to do! ! it was a funny observation and clever the thought. Rose-Mary get in there too get in the pool with beans says hello. *Priceless* For a moment I felt like I was watching some family guy in poetic verse. Thanks man! (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (1/8/2013 4:47:00 PM)

    i scrape the carrots around here. that and reading from a novel out loud while the cook prepares the meal is my contribution to supper. and i'll eat ANYTHING, though i turnip my nose a bit at my japanese wife's sometimes-purchased fermented soybeans. yuck! i hope you have a microwave oven larry. bri (Report) Reply

  • Sandy Player (12/31/2012 5:27:00 PM)

    The confusion of home life. I see you successfully identified where it ends up... (Report) Reply

  • * Sunprincess * (9/14/2012 8:39:00 PM)

    Rub butter all over the outside of the darn skillet and fry cap outta it
    ...you made my day..love this one.. :) (Report) Reply

  • Brian Purdy (1/23/2012 6:39:00 PM)

    Hey, Scotty, some idjut (wotanidjusheis!) gave your poem a '1.0', so decided to give it a '10.0' to balance things a little. Actually worth much more than the average of those two in my 'umble opinion - say, an 8.5? Cheers! B.E.P. (Report) Reply

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