Is This What I Wanted To Be... Poem by Ruturaj Zadbuke

I hate the aroma that accompanies you,
The aroma which once was a reason to live.

I hate those eyes which said so much back then,
Though now they say as much, even though you refrain (from the truth that they say)

I hate that empathetic heart that lets out dry tears,
Because now I know that dryness is because it has succumbed to fears.
(Tears, here mean the ones given out to show pity and pain at others condition. And now the heart feels the same for others. But it just sees & fears the damage that helping others may cause and the enemies that it will make.)
I hate those ears that once filtered all the gossip & rumours from around,
Because now they actively collect as much gossip as can be found.
(Gossip is a brilliant(read: immoral) tool of easy socialization & networking that is so essential for success.)

I hate that brain that once played strong,
Because I realized its exhibitionism was just to prove others wrong.
(An intelligent brain can be used to either prove one's self right or prove others wrong and the two are very different things.)

I hate that mind which remembers old friends,
Because it was the one that only saw how to use them.
(We call that backstabbing.)

I loathe the greatness that success brings,
Because greatness, at the cost of ethics and morality, really just stinks.
Everyday I wake up, glance at the mirror
And ask myself, “Is this what I wanted to be, a saint concealing a sinner.”