January 10, 2008 Poem by Jade Leven

would you believe me if I said I didn't need you anymore
I doubt you would, because I always said you were the reason for me
I guess I used to think you were, but now I see my lack of reason
I didn't like you, I liked the idea of what you could be

would you believe me if I said I saw you today in the hallway
but I didn't wave and I hoped you wouldn't see me at all
I stood silently thinking, 'I dare you to turn around'
but you didn't, and soon you turned the corner on the north wall

and I thought to myself, it's been over for a long time
I never could let go and I was always thought it would be forever
I loved you in a way you could never know or accept
I thought we had a bond that even change couldn't sever

but the seasons passed and so did you, passing me in life
you're a level above, I'm a level below, and that may last
the spark of a first love faded and I thought that I'd be smarter
in comparison to you, getting over him was simple and fast

I'll forgive you, because I think now that I am wiser than you
I feel compassion for your ignorance and I hope it leaves you soon
I was in love with you, I knew, when I was in the city
staring up at the lights in wonder in the crisp air of last June

I can't let you cry on my shoulder anymore, I'm sorry
if you won't let me do the same when I need to some days
just because I'm not like you doesn't mean I don't feel sadness
it fills every second of my life in inevitable ways

I won't be putting my head against my pillow tonight, thinking of you
I'll be locking my heart away, trying to forget you
with every step I take away from you, I feel stronger
I feel like maybe it's the right thing to do

goodbye to you who I comforted
goodbye to you who I supported
goodbye to you who I protected
goodbye to you who I loved

goodbye to you who whispered my name
goodbye to you who is not the same
goodbye to you, with you I no longer belong
even though I have for so long