Life As Poetry Poem by melancholy sunshine

I have no idea what i want to say. I desperately need to break through this malaise I'm in and pronto! Don't think I want to teach anymore although at heart I still love kids. Waning enthusiasm in every facet of life at this point. I think I might be doomed to fall into repeated doldrums strongly tied to a lack of diversity. Or to put it plainly; Habit is a soul killer.
I need to reinvest in myself and pronto! No, that's not what I wanted to say. I wanted to point out that Buddhist doctrine(bad word - make it teachings!) really seems to jibe with what i keep going through. My karmic cycle is stuck in overdrive and I can't stop the spin cycle! (Mixed metaphors are part of my cycle too, I think.) Sunshine; love or habit(make that craving. Craving for physical and emotional proximity to a separate, living and breathing, being. I thought I could escape the vortex but I guess its an ineluctable aspect of the human condition. I guess i qualify after all. Still, its not very considerate of Lori Lee, is it? ? At the moment doing the right thing for Lori is damned hard to commit to.{Ironic, eh, the right thing (being the antithesis of commitment) is very hard to commit to.} ========
Break for call from Sunshine- I was hoping to get a chance to use the 'up a tree' line. ========

Where was I? No, I didn't really forget. Just stalling for time.(ha)
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm...... Not meditating, just more stalling. Hard to think while I'm waiting for Lori to call back. Note to self - Relax! You should know by now that change is a constant. You will feel better. Yin and Yang, man! Anyways, just tough it out. I know that's not my forte, but what else can I do? ? So, relax, meditate, and be aware of things as they ebb and flow. I need to go to the beach and think on these things. Unfortunately, the beach will have to be a state of mind. That's o.k., I never really leave my mind behind anyways. >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>New topic: Elizabeth(Bee, B-bah, Talleywacker, ..) Talley campbell(yes, c!) .
Strange emotion(or not) seeing lizabeth. I don't really find her current appearance all that attractive, but I still find person very enticing. Very strange thing indeed. Or not. I don't know, I think a lot of my emotions were hijacked back then and are still serving time in a dank, dark dungeon. It's hard to imagine how my life would be now if my emotions hadn't been stunted back in my previous life. Hm. ahahahahahahah. Hm. Feel kind of emotionless and cold right now, actually. Time for a short..break.