Life's Purpose Poem by Claudia Krizay

I can hear people singing- beautiful melodies,
Upbeat and tuneful- I sing along-
I sing alone except for the company of
The comrades who live inside
The fortress of my mind.

I can hear raindrops splashing
Rhythmically onto the pavement outside, as
A cool breeze creeps through
An open crack in my bedroom window- I realize that
This is the autumn I have been waiting for.

Foliage on the trees changing color,
Skies are darkening- although it is only 6 PM-
I walked in the woods this morning amongst
Deer, squirrels and mallard ducks- as
The sun was just rising
I believed I was the queen of the forest.

However, right now my heart has become an empty cage,
Darkness will rule in less than an hour, and
Darkness succumbs early within the next six months,
Taking over the sky, as a black cloud
Has just taken over my mind, suddenly as
A gust of wind would do before a storm arrives.

I ask myself- 'What is life's purpose? '
I was born into a desolate world of
A mother who always had a severe death wish and
Was never there for me, and of a father who
Never understood, and tried to ignore
The demons who had taken over my mind at an age so young, and
The voices that plagued my mind as far back as I could remember,
Who still haunt me, although nobody else could hear them calling, and
Nobody else could witness their threats.

I often ask myself 'what do I have to live for? '
Born of parents who abused and misunderstood me, and
I have always been the laughing stock amongst others, if not just feared.
Seemingly in a gust of wind,
My mother and father departed this world some years back,
Leaving me to pick up the pieces of their shattered dreams.

The leaves upon the trees are golden, magenta and orange- some brown-
The air is crisp, cool and refreshing-autumn has always been my favorite season-
I have been left with dreams of my own only I can fulfill,

Although some of these dreams have been lost along the way,
I can see my own sun shining through the clouds and through the early morning's fog.
I feel my strength rising and filling the empty cage that once captured my heart.
My life has been a hurricane of sorts, and I have survived- if there is a god,
I believe I must be one of his chosen.

Beautiful melodies are playing inside of my mind and as I sing along
I am in awe of the magnificence of this wilderness-
I see that this world is a miraculous place and I can also see that in many ways,
The dreams that I have left are being fulfilled- and although in reality
I can never be queen of a forest, inside the world of these dreams I can be, and
As I am alive to be part of this special and extraordinary place,
I can now see that life does have meaning as does each and every moment in time.