Looking From The Inside Out Poem by Rhonda Moody

Looking from the inside out
Wondering what my life is all about
Trapped in this body is a mind
Going crazy most of the time

Never knowing from day to day
How I’ll be feeling when I awake
Sometimes going to bed at night
Thinking will there be another daylight

A state of confusion my brain is sometimes in
And a constant pain that comes from within
What will become of this life of mine
I want to be out but I am trapped inside

I remember I wasn’t always this way
A recent development I’ll have to say
Life of the party I used to be
Where is my life, I have to look to see

Wanting to do much more than I do
Desire still there, no energy who knew
Will I ever feel normal.. Like I use too
Do I even want to know the truth

I don’t think people see me, as I see myself
Hiding it all, I do quite well
How did I ever get this way
Broken body, broken spirit, depressed most days

In the mornings when I wake It’s then I see
What my body will have in store for me
Aching with pain is a reminder to me
Of what I cant do and who I cant be

I pray to the Lord both night and day
Please make me better for my family’s sake
My Husband and Sons have to put up with me
On good days and bad, but more bad days they see

I want to get out of this jail I am in
Trapped by my body and thoughts from within
I don’t want to be the way I am now
Always looking from the inside out