'Love/Hate' Poem by Jai Johnson

I Love You
I Hate You
I can't make up my mind
Something inside me
Can't leave you behind
I love you for many reasons
You can't seem to accept
Why is it so hard for you
To see the beauty in it
Is it because in 'God's' eyes it's wrong
I can't tell you anymore
Not even in friendship
Do you know how bad
That makes me feel
Do you even care
Sometimes i hate myself
For loving you
For feeling the way i do
I used to pray
For God to take away
What i feel
It serves me no purpose
It only makes me sad
It makes me feel
As if i'm a bad person
In your eyes
For loving you
I wish the feelings would go away
They only complicate things
Between You and I
And make everything difficult
Why can't i just Love you
And leave it at that
Why do you try to read between the lines
When there's nothing to read
I already know you don't love me
I've accepted that
And have learned to live with it
What i'm having a hard time with
Is the lies you told
You finally admitted
You never wanted a relationship with me
You were only playing
And flirting with me
While i poured my heart out to you
It was all a game to you
While i was being totally honest
With everything i said
I sat here and cried
As i read your words
On my computer screen
I couldn't believe what i read
As my heart broke all over again
Even though i'm glad you finally
Told me the truth
Hate and Resentment
Have started to settle in
I asked you time and again
Not to play with my heart and emotions
You blame me
For taking you at your word
Even though you had a boyfriend
And a baby on the way
Why does it make it right
In your mind
To constantly lie to me
And not apologize
For the hurt and pain
You've caused me
Why am i to blame
For the games
You chose to play
Why shouldn't i Hate you
Instead of Love you
~Jai~