Mixed Feelings Poem by jade Slatyer

Did you enjoy my pain?
Was it fun to watch me fall?
You where the reason why I became this way
Everyday, my life is tormented by nightmares,
Nightmares that are my reality
Do you feel nothing for what you have done?
Have you ever thought how your actions might affect others?
While I trusted you, you plotted my demise
You told me you cared for me, but it was all a lie
I shouldn't have trusted your sweet lies
Was it your plan to destroy my soul?
What was your purpose for making me suffer?
I feel helpless in this dark abyss that you have created
As the years past by, it grows bigger
Being nurtured by my growing sorrow..


Today I look at my life and wonder.
Is life worth all this pain I have been through?

My whole being has been twisted by your selfishness
My understanding of life is so mush different than others..
What they see as torment, I see as pleasure....

I use to wish for my salvation
But now I only wish to feel my own suffering
For I have grown to love the feeling of torment
I love to see the scars on my skin
And feel the scars on my soul

If only you knew the real me
You would cry and pity me...
But I wish you never to know..
For I still cling to that hope
Of you becoming the person you once were..