Moshing Poem by gershon hepner

If moshing with a chick were kosher,
I’d lover to be her kosher mosher,
but since I have been told it’s treif
such dances with her are not safe,
unless the OU teaches a new step
to people with a name like Hep-
ner, with a butt that’s glatt. We’ll dance,
but make sure I take off my pants
as soon as the bandleader stops
the music. Will you call the cops
and try to stop me from advancing
further with unkosher dancing,
allowed by the OU but not
the fox with whom I’m hot to trot?


1/3/10