Much Ado About Nowt Poem by archie hardie

In olden days, them golden days,
when Shaky were just a pup,
as he walked the mean streets
just who should he meet,
but the guy next door called Dave.

Says Dave, to Bill, 'My you`re lookin` very neat,
in your fine cocked hat an` hose,
has an uncle just died an` left you some dough,
or have you got a real job at last? '

'Why sirrah, by my breeks, you`ve got a damn cheek,
to aim such a snide question at me,
now, cos ahm a nice gent, I wont donk you on the conk,
an` leave your bloody honkin` hooter in ruins.

But between you an` me, an` these walls wi` no ears,
I`m wi` the dreamiest toff in creation,
so now I don`t scrub or sew,
thems a nonny nonny no,
an` the name o` me fellah is Bacon.'