My Family Poem by Gregory Corban Jr.

My family is weird; they have a case of the crazies.
They've stolen Santa's beard, on the parade at Macy's.

Or what about the time, Uncle Lou chewed on Lenny's head.
He said it tasted sublime, and left Lenny almost dead.

Reunions are the worst, I hate them the most.
Shinel always thinks its liverwurst, when she gnaws at the post.

Cousins run with snakes in hand, uncles drive their boats on land.
Nephews and nieces run to a rat, one said 'Meal! ' before it went splat.
Aunt's painting their lizard clowns; I'm waiting for the chaos to die down.
Grandma's and Grandpa's telling the tale, when they chewed off a leprechaun's tail.
Mom and Dad not normal in the least, kissing their pet Peppercorn beast.
There is no silver lining because I get blamed; I'm the only one in my family who's sane.

Wait I'm not done, I know I can't stand it either.
Before we end the fun, I'll have to get back my pet giant beaver.