NEVER EVER FRIGHTEN THE MEAL
I amuse her
with ordinary facts
such as
say when you blush yes...?
the lining of your stomach
becomes redder
and when you pale
your stomach lining
becomes white
or ha ha
in order to have blue blood
you would have to be how you say
...being strangled
or be
a lobster
or that
shock causes
your blood
to go all sticky
and that’s
when I bit her
sucked her
delicious laughing blood!
Even us
vampires
don’t like
(yuck)
sticky blood!
* * *
NEITHER HAIR NOR DARE
As a rule
red headed people
have about
90,000 hairs
in their scalp.
Yup…go on...count ‘em!
See if I’m lying!
89,999...
See, I was right…wasn’t I?
Brunettes…’bout
100,000
and blondes
(natural of course)
about as many as
150,000.
Bald headed people
have none that can be seen.
But no matter what
or how many or
what colour
I love
every hair
on your
head.
* * *
LOUD...& CLEAR
“Ah...aw...eh...ee...oo! ”
(so you say)
as we make love.
It’s funny
how you happen to hit upon
the sounds which...carry best
and are by far
the easiest for the human ear to hear
and how
once again
you are coming
through..loud...& clear.
* * *
JUMPIN’...LIKE A CATFISH...ON A POLE.
I love
that little muscle
in the region
of your nose & upper lip
the watchyamacallit
(oh yes)
your leaftor labii superioris aloequae nasi.
I love it
when it
it...twitches
God! It’s so cute!
(thinks it’s Elvis)
when we...when we
make love.
* * *
BURNING UP ENERGY
You need about
I calorie of energy
to read 650 words.
I write your name
650 times
and read it back to myself
(getting lost in the calligraphy)
entangled in the loops and coils of you
(your crossed T’s...your dotted I’s)
endlessly
just
burning up
energy.
* * *
YOUR NEW NUDITY
Every 27 days
courtesy of washing or
just the rubbing of our clothes
we all get
a complete new
outer skin.
May I say
Your new skin
(which has arrived today)
really compliments
your nudity
* * *
IS IT YOURSELF THAT’S IN IT?
Your tongue print
(so I am told)
is as unique as
(yes Monique)
your fingerprint.
Well, fancy that!
All night
(all night)
I take your tongue print
just to make sure
You are
who you say
you are.
All done of course
(tongue in cheek) .
One can never be...too sure
that say
your evil twin
isn’t impersonating you
in order to have her wicked way with me
while you bound & gagged& chloroformed in the broom cupboard
(and found only the next day by the French maid...eh...eh?)
Hold on...one big sloppy kiss should do it!
Yeah, that’s
you alright!
* * *
I NEVER THINK I LOVE YOU
Scientists have estimated
that the speed of thought is
only about 240 km/h.
I somehow thought
it would be
more instantaneous than that.
Whereas a sneeze
is as fast as 160 km/h
the speed say
...of a hurricane.
That is why I never think
I love you
I just
do...it!
It’s a whole lot
quicker &
more fun.
* * *
WHAT’S SLEEP?
New born babies
cry
133 minutes
each day
there or thereabouts.
Our little sweetie
is trying to get a whole months worth
into just
one day.
What’s...sleep?
* * *
I DON’T KNOW
Chinese & Japanese
babies
are born with
blue marks
on their bottoms
which disappear
as they get older.
Why so?
I don’t know.
* * *
WHEN IT COMES TO EITHER…I’LL HAVE NEITHER.
You use
17 muscles
to smile
43 to frown.
200,000 frowns
make one wrinkle.
I try to stay young
by engaging in
neither
emotion.
* * *
THE MYTH OF MY REALITY
Britons
(you know
that noble lot who never ever
shall be slaves)
are losing
the plot
between fact
& fiction
with more than
half believing
that Sherlock Holmes
was a real live bloke
& that
(1(!) in 3)
think that
Charles Dickens
was a fictional character.
One in 4
think that
(“This is not the beginning of the end.
rather, it is the end of the beginning.”)
Winston Churchill
was a myth.
Gandhi, Cleo & Richard the Lionheart
also emerge
as mere fiction.
A survey
(like this)
tickles
raises smiles.
Proves that
History is
a fickle mistress
and that those that
go down in it
still only
pass through it
even if
they make it.
I myself
believe I am
only a fictional construct
a devilish plan
drawn up
by God
...knows who?
And that if I cease
writing this
then I
will cease
to
ex...!
* * *
I was preparing a lesson about the body and digging up curious facts...these are the ones that caught my interest. A friend of mine asked if I could turn the kernal of each fact into a poem...so after an hour's thought...here's what emerged. Forgive...for I know not what I do. Be brave...some don't deserve their existence but there's the odd one or two that do! See if you can spot those that don't and I will take them out and excute them at once.
Delightful collage of poetry Donall! ! ! Very enjoyable! Hugs, Dee
Playful and frolicsome...amusing and charming. Like the title poem best and the one about the evil twin. love Dee Dee
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
My Darling Scientist Who Never Seems To Sleep: You never cease to amaze and amuse me, for I never know just what you are going to write next, and therein lies your wonder! ! From tounge prints to the number of hairs on our heads...your ability to take these mundane facts and make them sing is just pure joy to me! I look forward every day to seeing just what you come up with next!