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Joshua Hillard

Rookie - 81 Points (February 19,1992 / Saginaw, MI)


All these nights alone,
I can only whisper to myself,
Fear of life and life its self,
I fear there is no one else,

My dreams start to haunt me,
One by one everyone begins to die,
Traumatic incidents leave me teary-eyed,
Questions to God in persistence of why,

For no reason my mind makes up,
Never could I want this to come true,
I can't live without the one's I love,
So why do I dream upon deaths of you?

I'm terrified so I hide away,
Stowed upon the endless thoughts I gain,
Never do they slimmer, but get heavy,
So in the end all I can feel is pain,

Karma never once spoke upon death,
Though I speak it for the life I live,
I would do anything within my heart and soul,
This very life is what I'll give,

Watching the scenes causes rivers of tears,
So I wake with a gasp of breath,
I choke my words trying to speak to that one,
It becomes so hard to mention their attempted death,

Through the daydreams I have awake,
I dream of mine, as they live prosperous,
Why is fate turning that around on me,
Why can't I shake it off and laugh at this?

For what it is I believe,
I fear for everyone around me,
Not for my own doing but theirs,
Because they don't see what it is I see,

I wish them all the best of health,
Never to let go the meaning of why they're here,
I'm here too, but stranded out so far,
So I'll continue my nightmares and keep in my fear.

Submitted: Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Edited: Thursday, October 18, 2012

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