No Destinations Poem by RoseAnn V. Shawiak

Riding around, trying to lose myself in another dimension - I fail hopelessly.
I succeed in thinking of what they did to my Mom and hate fills my being and keeps me driving, late into the night.
With no where as a destination and with no one to talk to, I try desperately to hold on to nothing.
Reality is at every turn, trying to make me face the black emptiness surrounding me, but I refuse.
I stay awake - not wanting to fall asleep - afraid I might drown in nightmares that run very deep during sleep.
Looking - always looking - for something to hang on to.
There is nothing anywhere in sight and I continue to crash and fall, night after night.
Where is the hope I used to have? Where is the faith? Where is God. Nothing.
I know nothing, yet I am supposed to go on living?
Why? Where is the sense? What is the meaning?
How come I have to suffer this emptiness all alone?
Why can't someone come along to help me ease the pain?
Oh God! Why am I suffering like this?
My love ran deep - it came back up through my soul.
It is being pulled from me, yet I will not let it go.
The meaning of life lies buried in all of this meaningless death, but I have not found it yet!
I have found no meaning for life to go on.
So maybe it must just stop.