No Matter What (C) 8-22-09 Poem by Zahir Kijani

I was upset pettily mad about nothing
Choosing to believe that I was right in everyway
Lost in my own thoughts and suspicions
Over and over I think of you where could she be

Vowing to leave her forever and never take her back
Even though I knew I would I lied to myself continuously
My mouth couldn’t speak but I had to say so many things
Yelling silently hoping that I could tell myself I didn’t want her

Opening my eyes would only release the streams of tears
Understanding slowly there’s no way I could leave her
Bringing myself to finally lay knowing she wasn’t there
Some time later when I wake I see her sleeping in peace

As I thought I couldn’t leave her she’s just so beautiful
Races zoom through my head questions asking 'Really, could I really
Again I noticed there’s no way we can part I love her
How can I even stay mad when in my heart I love you? '

There’s no way I can give up now I’ve carried on so far, but
Nothing matters after a point when you just say forget about it
O how I yearn to speak to her just once at least to say hello
It doesn’t matter I just needed to speak to her someway somehow

Maybe in the theatrics of seeming to remain upset just something
After a period of ignorance and anxiety I can’t take it anymore
The thought of losing her makes even my soul tremble
To even scheme just so she would talk to me I’d go through any lengths

Easily but tediously my plan works never would’ve guessed it was me
Resting as it seems she finally speaks she finally “awakens” me
A smile spreads on the lips of my heart thanking God for my wily brilliance
Whatever the matter was I pretend to forget faulting myself for this,

My mind tells me that anger has taken over and wrath is in place, but
How can I show wrath or anger it’s borderline impossible
A moment of rekindling and my love is back my love is back
Together again and hopefully forever she is mine I love you no matter what.