Not Yet Poem by Yiennarda Enk

I drank 5 cans of beer tonight
I’m sure the following day’s not gonna be bright
I thought of laying down my head for sleep
Lord make me pure… I cried as I creep
… but not yet

I stopped by a small store
Grabbed a pack of cigarette
Sneaked a gum in my pocket
I breathe out a lonely sigh
As I stepped out of the spot,
with the gum on my pocket
I closed my eyes while walking away…
I am saying these funny words as I sway
Lord make me pure,
…but not yet

I stumbled upon a beggar in the street
He asked for some money so he could eat
I pretended to not see him, that’s what I did
But his voice is still echoing in my wits…
I tried to cover both of my ears
So I myself would not hear
what my scruples is about to prick
With a helmet covering my head…
Lord make me pure, I said
…but not yet

I finally reached home,
A woman is at my door,
I can see the house so spotless
“Good evening”, I think I heard her utter
I wanted to give back a smile
To let her know I also care for her
But I am decided, that my life is a mess
I wanted to say, Lord please make me pure
… but not yet

It was that night, as I went to sleep
After passing by people, after passing by life
I was grabbing my chest as it suddenly got tight
I was kicking the air, my clasped hands are up high
I wanted to shout beneath a voice I couldn’t get
Please Lord, not now, please Lord,

NOT YET…