Numb Poem by Bianca Walker

I realized one night while I was sleeping wide awake, that some time ago, I'd slipped into a comatose state.

Conscious, I am to the rest of the world.
Unconscious internally.

I have no reactions.
I've lost all feeling.
Everything is in place.
Everything is missing.
What once was a woman, now roams as a zombie.

I am not sad.
I am not happy.
I am here.
Here! ! ! ! ....Where is here? ? ? ? and why am I here for so long?
How do I get to THERE! ! ?

I want so desperately to get THERE

I've been working my entire life to get to THERE, but always end HERE...

STUCK

Trying to sort it all out until my body has shut down, my mind freezes, the disappointments and over analyzing have caused my spirit to weaken.

Unconsciously there are efforts to say optimistic and strong, but then all inside of me becomes NUMB.

I do not like it HERE where there is no feeling, and although I can't feel I know that I'm drifting.

I want to cry out in frustration, but I have no tears.
I want to shudder helplessly, but I have no fears.
I want to laugh until my tummy hurts, but I can't produce a sound, nor place my feet on solid ground.

Rambling....
Rambling....
Rambling.....

Get me out of HERE And take me THERE

There Where I am not numb.

©2007