Ode To Flu Poem by Percy Dovetonsils

This is too much info,
too much sharing,
But I've been so blasted
I haven't jerked off
in many a day.
When you add that
to my incredibly virtuous
appetite
(all sugary & fatty things
repulse me
not even sodium chloride
holds its usual charms
nor can I bear large
portions)
well,
I've temporarily become
so virtuous
I can hardly
stand
myself.
It's cheaper
than a spa
and almost enough
to give
the flu
a good
name.