One-Way Good-Bye Poem by Terence George Craddock (Spectral Images and Images Of Light)

I remember so many years
ago bare moment ago.

When I went forth compelled
to secretly say good-bye.

On street corner
cross from bank.

You did not know I was
or why I was bound there.
Watching building as I had
spied magnetic drab building.
Many times journeyed past
daily work’s journey to or throw.

Guessed second floor
you work on.
My heart
breaks anew.
My heart broke
repeatedly
without seeing you.

As minutes passed
ever slowly by.
With all effort
again again I tried.
To make the break.
For the last.
For the last.
Time to say good-bye.

You never knew.
Each time I saw you.
How my pulse heart
missed each reckless beat.
Love I never told
never spoke of
burned ever cruelly;
oh so deep.

Is that you I see
within office window framed?
Moving to and throw.
You do not see me
this as always passes so.
Your working your weekly computer
directing departmental managerial flow.

All those that work close
beside thee I forlorn envy.
Seeing your dazzling beauty daily
which I will never know.
They share your thoughts
your laughter
that I shall never know.

They see you daily
yet love you not.
Oh mercy; soul sought peace;
within worried me;
will not wearied withered grow.
My thoughts; get ever more black;
baked bitter; leech lingering;
hopelessness; will not go.

You see me. Oh my God!
My thoughts; stop impaled;
in tight slotted compulsive track.
You recognize me. Oh my God!
Too late; behind that refuge;
bidding pillar;
I cannot now draw back.

Your eyes meet mine. You see me.
For an electrified moment.
Is it; for the first; the only time?
You see me. Oh my God! My God!
How I shall hence forth suffer.
For this meeting at a compulsive distance.
Will haunt into decades decayed time.
A chance meeting? A chance meeting?

For you is nothing.
Seconds frozen (I only suffer?) .
Will haunt long;
into gentle heart won;
love lost time. You wave smile.
Only your perfect innocent face.
Could light up eternity.
Like that. Light up. My heart.

(Traitor dead within me.
Killed. Self tortured.)
Like that. Such beauty.
Your puzzled?
An eternity.
Slowly my hand is raised.
Slowly answers back.

I’m gone.
Did you upon reflection?
Ever think back?
Upon such chance meeting?
Did you ever think back?

Every time I saw you.
My heart instantly froze
in lonesome frosted place.
Every time I saw you.
It raced tripped froze.
Without own soul forsaken place.

Images of you swam in mists
of tears hour after wrecked hour.
As days wasted waxed away.
Each chance meeting knowing
with coming day nothing
will has passed between us.

Your leaving
windowed ledge;
means nothing;
upon parting.
Leaving without feeling.
Already your thoughts
climb onward
away from fevered mine.

Inward, naked, stripped bare,
while she, moves; ever receding away.
I am alone. In crowds of aloneness.
In crowds; absolute aloneness.
In crowds; condemning heartfelt;
self excluded; exiled aloneness.

I live. I live. I live.
Never craved ray;
of needed warmth;
reaches silently out;
in heart-string comfort.
From thee to mannequin me.

My eyes
avoid avoid
desperately fleetingly;
your burning beauty;
at every turn.

As I try to escape
your presence
imprinted
before mine eyes
branded upon
my very soul.

Heart divided
upon itself
cannot stand.
Black and cold
is bitter blood
that ebbs
between torn
apart halves.

Weeks pasted
shaking; like frail autumn leaf.
Years passed
still there is no heartfelt peace.
All epitaph
leaves have grave ground fallen.
Still there is no heartfelt peace.

Now ring-barked tree
is lost in frozen bitter winter.
Life is stripped bark bare.
Majestic tree is lost in eternal winter.
My life is frozen twisted bare.
In season sap sunk cold chill rain.
I am frozen chill stripped bare.

While years
apart you resort in summer heat.
Burn brown
bare upon resort bright Black Sea beach.
Life embodied
supermodel your eyes smolder summer heat.
Your beauty still flares ever more perfect.

Lit with true inner;
compassionate humane flame.
I still seek retreat.
I still seek retreat.
In your bare legged; summer beauty
your loveless kiss would be;
is a brand upon my cheek.

Across an ocean
from you and more.
I still seek retreat.
An ocean cold
turbulent deep
filled my tears I cried.
During your time of joyous
sweltering summer heat.

In numb frozen;
winter coldness;
I cried. I cried salt tears.
While your body
ever beautiful danced
in summer sensual heat.


In rocky winter I cried.
Frozen upon a fossil beach.
While you danced coupled
in fresh bare summer heat.

Your body is a stunning torture
to see to hear to speak.
Your body is an exquisite torture
to see to hear to speak.
For other men you laugh you speak.


Still. But long ago.
In glacial winter. I fell dead.
In full retreat. Unseen. Unloved.
I feel dead upon crushed snow.
I fell dead; upon bitter; down trodden snow.


Copyright © Terence George Craddock
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