Our First Kiss Poem by Enyinwa Okechukwu Enyinwa

angels called the stars on us, beautiful..

The kisses of love, romance and joy! Nice work.

“ Back when love worth a fountain Of gold and kisses have the Taste Of love ' “ Since (I believe) you are sincerely seeking input on this poem, including your use of English, let me say about the above lines of your poem: I SUGGEST: “Back when love was worth a fountain Of gold, and kisses had the Taste Of love …..” I made four (4) changes. I hope you notice all of them. of course, it IS YOUR POEM, so you are quite free to leave it as is. Obviously some poets enjoyed it without making ‘suggestions’. I also enjoyed it! I DO like that you capitalized “Taste”. I hope everyone brushed their teeth! “Eyes closed i feel safe in your world..” ………… generally you are using the past tense I believe [I don’t know all the names of ALL the verb tenses one can use] with your verbs. at first I thought “felt” would fit better than “feel”, but now I’m ‘ok’ with “feel”. I don’t know how to explain that sometimes it makes some sense to seem to drift between tenses, sometimes seeming to be in the past while at the same time seeming to be in the present, perhaps while thinking about the past. you did not capitalize “i”. that may have been intended. in my poems I ‘always’ capitalize “I” or the computer does it for me, but in my poem comments and messages and in emails I usually don’t bother with much capitalization. “Even the Angels called the stars On us..” ……… ………….. I think I understand, and many people might use “called”…”On us” to express your thought. I would perhaps use “Even the Angels shone the stars on us..” [I mistakenly typed “shown” the first time! ] I found this online: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - “Showing results for past tense of shine ________________________________________ Search Results 1. In its first sense, shine traditionally becomes shone in the past tense and as a past participle. In its second sense, shine is traditionally inflected shined. So, for example, we might say, “The sun shone brightly while I shined my shoes.” “ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OR I might type “…the Angels set the stars on us” or “…the Angels called the stars to shine on us..” BUT what you typed is certainly ok. bri :) nice poem about a nice experience! p.s. I still don’t know why you use apostrophes the way you sometimes do, as in “Our first kiss was beneath the Full moon' “ ………………….

Beautifully expressed with the true essence of your first kiss!

It is a heart touching love poem with thrilling expression so aptly presented. Thanks for sharing.

yeah.. the first kiss is always 'magic'.. ;)

This poem has the heat and thrill of your first kiss! A 10