Khairul Ahsan


Pristine Love


No love is as overwhelming and as pristine,
As the maiden love of a lass, say of sixteen.
When, like closed petals of a bud she begins to unfold
Herself, blossoming into a fragrant rose or marigold.

She seeks a hand to hold and wants hers as well be held,
In secluded privacy, from the outside world as if shelled.
She wants to love and be loved, to touch and be touched,
Promises never to leave the hand that she fondly clutched.

Standing on the crossroads of childhood and puberty,
She seeks a soul mate, not one who is always flirty.
She feels lonely at home, even in a crowd, or among peers,
Unless with her soul mate who keeps count of her fallen tears.

Promises everything that her soul mate wants her to be,
She herself also demands promises on matters flimsy.
Not realizing that promises are easy to make but difficult to keep,
Broken promises are hard to bear with, easy to make one weep.

Sometimes the lass' love remain held back and suppressed,
When she is wary that her emotions will not be addressed.
Flames of this unexpressed love burn her in slow motion
Whenever she muses over some missed conversation.

Lucky is he who wins the first love of a lass, in solemn trust
Pity on him who misses the offer, or throws it into the dust.
When a life's journey is begun hand in hand with no suspicion,
The two unsuspecting souls will no doubt reach their destination.

Submitted: Friday, July 26, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Topic of this poem: love

Form:


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Dedicated to all the young lovers, in whose pristine minds love reigns supreme!

Dhaka
26 July 2013
Copyright Reserved.

Comments about this poem (Pristine Love by Khairul Ahsan )

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  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (7/7/2014 3:40:00 AM)

    @Kirti Sharma,
    Thanks for reading one of my oldest poems here and all your generous comments that you've left on my poem.
    I am deeply touched and inspired by your thoughtful comments and appreciation. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 474 Points Michelle Claus (7/6/2014 11:26:00 PM)

    I've been that girl that you described in your poem. At my current age,41, I have a hard time relating to the innocent and idealistic yearning of a 16-year-old - now knowing how love permeates over time and requires more labor and commitment than hopes and dreams. But it was important to be that girl 25 years ago and imagine a soul mate. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,215 Points Amitava Sur (6/30/2014 9:36:00 PM)

    Hi - Khairul I am so pleased to read the beautiful detailing about Fist love! ! ! The whole poem itself is so decently elaborated about the pure unbiased love..... I just loved it. Very nice. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Kirti Sharma (6/27/2014 4:55:00 PM)

    wow! !
    thank God i didn't miss this one!
    just as i can relate! : D
    an awesome work! !
    i loved it... :)
    i even liked the rhymes! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (2/3/2014 12:17:00 AM)

    @Jessica Dehn,
    Thanks for reading my poem and the appreciation you've left here. Hope, you will have time to read some more and say a few more words. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (2/2/2014 11:45:00 PM)

    @Star Crossed Lady,
    Thanks a lot for your kind words on me and my poem. I am highly inspired and elated by your kind words.
    My poem was written for women of your age. I am glad that it met your liking. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (1/24/2014 9:30:00 PM)

    @ Sherlyn Davis,
    Thanks for reading my poem and leaving your generous comment here. I am inspired. Shall appreciate if you can make some time to read, rate and comment on a few more. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (1/24/2014 7:15:00 PM)

    @ Victoria Meza,
    Thank you very much for reading my poem and leaving your comment here. Thanks for your generous ten! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (1/22/2014 6:31:00 AM)

    @ Bri Edwards,
    1. The word 'pervasive' has been changed.
    2. At sixteen, girls may be well past 'onset of puberty', but here, the girl I am looking at, seems still to be standing at cross roads of childhood and puberty, meaning, she still has some childhood left in her, as she is entering a bigger and fanciful world of puberty at sixteen.
    3. The word 'pretension' has been changed by 'suspicion'. The meaning should be clear now.
    4. My views are different, from what you have mentioned in your p.s. Two categories would be alright, but not depending on English being used as primary or secondary language. The division could be based on whether English was used with appropriate grammar and punctuation, or without.
    Thanks for the elaborate critique. It has made my poem finer, I guess. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 34 Points Star Crossed Lady (1/21/2014 6:48:00 PM)

    I can not describe how this poem speaks to me. I can say this, Do not stop writing. Please the world should hear what you have to say. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 17 Points Crystal Conrick-knight (1/21/2014 11:42:00 AM)

    Khairul, Your poem is very deep and passionate the expressions take me to the place u describe and still as an outsider looking in I see the pain and the breath of life in each line. I can see how raw yet cultured you are. Pretentious and in a seemingly perverted but elegant way. Yes I will be a fan of a writer with such insight and ability to hold me to his words. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (12/30/2013 10:59:00 AM)

    @ Humera Sultana,
    Thanks for reading my poem and leaving your comments here. I am greatly inspired. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,139 Points Khairul Ahsan (12/30/2013 8:10:00 AM)

    @ Patricia Grantham,
    You are so very kind! You've left wonderful praises on my poem that I didn't acknowledge earlier, and I am so sorry for that. Such appreciation can only bolster a poets spirits for writing better poetry.
    Thank you for enjoying my poem and leaving words of such high praise! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Sherlyn Davis (12/29/2013 11:52:00 PM)

    oh I just love it, its like everything that I've experienced written into one well-written script. you were right, I love it. (Report) Reply

Read all 82 comments »

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