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CeCe Lamberts

(12 December 1969 / Smallvile, Greece)

Rejection and a guy named Aris

Last week I met a guy named Aris
He took my breath away
Tall, sexy, good-looking, gorgeous
Mysterious, sensitive, complicated
Troubled, a poet, a musician
Funny, intense and unstable.

He wanted me for one night only
Treated me gently for that night
Held me in his arms and kissed me long
Gave me just what I needed for that night
As I was needy for just that
I was lonely and vulnerable
I was looking for him and found him
Thought the gods were shining down on me for once
Thought he wanted me back
But I was wrong…

Few days later he rejected me
Came with a load of lies and excuses
“It’s not you, it’s me”
“I can’t stay long”
“I’m going through this phase”
“I don’t sleep well at night”
'I'm confused and contradictory'

Met me again and treated me like I was poison
Kept away from me
Curled in a corner
Wouldn’t even look at me
Not a touch, a kiss, or a smile
As if I had an infectious disease
Like I was toxic

Left me with “I’m sorry”
Messed me up real good
And slammed the car door
Like a slap on my face
Left me stunned and frozen
Crushed me completely
Was unable to react or drive
Stood there wondering
What had just happened

Stupid me, trying my best to help him out
Took his excuses and lies seriously
Tried to get to the bottom of his problems
To analyze his soul, listen to what he wasn’t telling me
As if his behavior was abnormal
As if his rejecting me was unexpected.

I’m such a fucking fool
I should know by now
Rejection is the norm, rejection is the rule
Haven’t I learnt by now?
Don’t I know not to get surprised when they reject me?
I should have learnt by now
I’m becoming an expert at being rejected
This fucking pain is so familiar

Acceptance should surprise me
Gotta find out what it is in me that turns people away
This can’t be a coincidence
When you go through life being rejected consistently by all
You shouldn’t make excuses
You have to face your shortcomings
Face what it is that makes me toxic to others

I know it’s not Aris’s fault
Shouldn’t blame him for anything
He didn’t want me in any way, body or soul
Seeing me the second time felt excruciating to him
Boy, this is exactly what I didn’t need at this point in life
But it happened, once again,
One more rejection to be added to my long list
Better get used to it
There will be more to come, that’s for sure.

Submitted: Thursday, March 22, 2007
Edited: Saturday, February 05, 2011

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Comments about this poem (Rejection and a guy named Aris by CeCe Lamberts )

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  • Joscephine Gomez (6/16/2007 7:26:00 AM)

    Your poem says you are setting yourself up for rejection. Just write some more and you will feel how very much you are accepted by your readers. (Report) Reply

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