Black on Black Arts


Rite Of Passage - Poem by Black on Black Arts

Walk a mile in my shoes and you'll develop blisters.
As you drop to your knees from the weight of the world
that i had to endure since birth.
Your shoulders will slump from the sacrifies I had to make.
Try to stand with watery eyes the tears will fall.
Headaches and dizzyness overcome you as vertigo sets in.
The world around you starts to spin as you grab hold to keep from falling but nothings there.
You continue your decline.
Everythings in slow motion.
You see the ground inching ever so closely.
You close your eyes as you see the enivitable approaching.
Stalking you like prey.
I grab you pull you up.
Do you still wanna walk in my shoes?


Comments about Rite Of Passage by Black on Black Arts

  • Roseann Shawiak (2/4/2016 2:42:00 AM)

    Through your poem, walking in your shoes, feeling the adversity and painful sacrifices you've made in life, all of it being mirrored in your poem. Yet if another were to walk in your shoes, you would rescue them, pulling them from the depths of an inner nothingness. Your heart and soul showing the compassion you have for humanity even though your life has been a personal hell. Extraordinary poem, totally loved it! Thank you for sharing. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

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  • Brian Johnston Brian Johnston (6/30/2014 1:51:00 PM)

    You may have started as coal but life has clearly made you a diamond. You still have the strength after all that to grab another and pull them up? My dear poet, I don't want to walk in your shoes, I want to be you! More poems please! (Report) Reply

  • Dr Tapan Kumar Pradhan (10/18/2013 1:30:00 AM)

    Bravo! From the very first line you hold the reader and not allow it him to get away! Very good original creation. You have a definite talent. Wish you all the best for the contest. But you cannot predict anything in an Online Contest like this - which can be easily manipulated by cyber savvy poets! ! (See my poem Poem Hunter Contest Final just to have an idea of how a contest can be manipulated...) (Report) Reply

  • Dipy Hermonite Dipy Hermonite (9/27/2013 1:55:00 AM)

    Fantastic poem. Well articulated. I like it and have rated it.

    Could I request you to read and rate my poem? I would also be delighted if you could endorse your comments on the poem.
    Link is given below

    http: //www.poemhunter.com/contest-vote/your-world-my-lord/
    Regards
    Dipy (Report) Reply

  • Ramesh Rai Ramesh Rai (9/25/2013 10:13:00 PM)

    Sunprincess has exactly said. a great write. (Report) Reply

  • Shai Cherry (11/8/2012 11:20:00 AM)

    what a great poem with such meaning (Report) Reply

  • Amanda Laurent Amanda Laurent (10/27/2012 3:28:00 PM)

    I sank right in to your heavy words, great poem! (Report) Reply

  • Caroline Bulleck Caroline Bulleck (10/1/2012 11:21:00 PM)

    I like the overall effect of this poem. I always wondered how someone else would handle walking in my shoes or vice vesa. (Report) Reply

  • Darkangel Flyfree Darkangel Flyfree (9/20/2012 2:39:00 PM)

    Wow, def know the headaches and dizzyness from vertigo! Really good poem! (Report) Reply

Read all 9 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Poem Edited: Monday, August 12, 2013


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