Sitting Seeking Pity Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Never will these wounds known that I carry,
Affect you directly.
When I earned my scars you were not involved.
Not to see them inflicted when I enlisted,
Into the military.
Not to hear of my friends being killed and buried.
Or the toil that took on my emotions.
I've already done the numbing of the mind thing.

You were not there,
To see me grieve over the death of my son.
Or the pain I felt blaming myself and everyone,
Regarding how that was done.
Or when both of my marriages ended!
And I was then still quite young.

All you know is what you see.
You have no idea what is inside of me.
Or the devotion I still have for my family.
After years now spent not seeing my mom and dad.
Very close those feelings you will not believe.
Or seeing them die that has left me sad.

Nothing I do has been magically produced.
Even forgiving myself and others,
Has reduced me to tears at times.
When I know of those folks who have sacrificed their lives,
For their beliefs.
As you wallow away in pettiness...
To complain about your issues.
And how from you they wont leave!
While you invite them on a daily basis.

And you say of me for you I show no empathy?
You have no idea how much I care!
I am just not like you.
Sitting seeking pity.
Because my cries for help,
Is all I choose to do!
My knees are not intended,
To be bended and kept knelt!

Never will these wounds known that I carry,
Affect you directly.
I am too aware of those steps I've taken.
I am too aware of what it takes to celebrate life.
And too much aware of a happiness,
I have chosen to separate from what has happened.
Pulled out of despair and dragged away from strife.

I will listen!
But I am not here to compare to share to relive.
Any of your agonies on your sleeve you so willfully give.
I am here to assist your getting over it.
Not to sit with you and feast upon defeat.
I am not that kind of 'friend'.
And those friends you do not need.
So stop rehearsing your tragedies.
Let's take a hike through the park,
And hug a few trees.
Let's express to them our gratitude.