'' Some Of Their Laws Are Nothing But Farce '' Poem by Bri Mar

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty never did fall,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Weren't needed to put Humpty together again.

Why was this I hear you all say,
It has always been that is the way,
By saying it's not you are causing affray,
I'ts the reason Humpty's alive today.

When Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
It couldn't be built more than four inches tall,
So if and when he decides to fall,
The kings men and their horses won't need a call.

When Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They didn't fetch a pail of water,
Jack didn't fall down or break his crown,
Nor did Jill come tumbling after.

What is this nonsense I hear you all ask,
Tell us the truth or we'll take you to task,
Well Jack and Jill get their water by stealth,
That way they both remain in good health.

To ask children to work you must be a rotter,
Especially your son and your daughter,
It's like putting lambs to the bloody slaughter,
For that you'll find yourself in very hot water.

When Simple Simon met the pieman,
On his way to the fair,
He said you think that you're a fly man,
So eat my food if you dare.

Simon said I can't because your pie is far too cold,
As it doesn't have a sell by date, I can't say how old,
I've afraid I've got to tell you that your business must now fold,
My gift gift of observation is a power to behold.

Food unheated you must never eat,
If it's went cold you must not reheat,
Especially when it's a type of meat.
Or for sure you'll end up on the toilet seat.

Ring a ring of rosies,
No need to carry posies,
Atishoo atishoo,
Nobody fell down.

This was based on fact you know,
You cannot change all that,
Yes I can I'll tell you so,
You can't blame the poor old rat.

By allowing rats to thrive you see,
Is good for all as they run free,
Killing them all I trust you'll agree,
Is bloody murder we must let them be.

Three blind mice three blind mice,
They no longer run they no longer run,
They got the police to the farmers wife,
Who was arrested for carrying a carving knife.

Now she's in jail for a very long time,
For attempting to commit such a heinous crime,
The mice have a life that is really sublime,
As over the bread and cheese they climb.

Mice are creatures that easily please,
It's wrong to say that they spread disease,
That statement can only be classed as sleaze,
As for cutting their tails off their must be a freeze.

These prime examples I'm sure you will find,
They are not just barbaric they are so unkind,
You all now must get it into your mind,
In Health and Safety they are all now enshrined.

Though it's something the majority really deplore,
You can no longer do what you want anymore,
Big brother is watching your every chore,
It would destroy your soul to the very core.

If we obeyed all the rules Health and Safety impose,
The worlds economies would come to a close,
Their guidelines for working are unclear and sparse,

'' Some Of Their Laws Are Nothing But Farce ''