Someday Poem by James Darwin Smith II

Depression, I was always scared
Feeling safe with you
And there lies the contraction
Between me and you
I a fool, you a tool


Doubts continuously cast out
By self-stoning disasters
Being thrown afar
Onto myself
Landing on another wasted day


Confusion, such a strong illusion
To hide the truths of self
Not being able to heal
Worrying about the simplest of things....



I learned to cry
Without crying



You taught me well


To play hide and seek with myself
So I could be a mystery to everyone else



Yes. You taught me so well, depression
No one else but you could have taught me
To always try living inside my own self


Many outside voices unheard
Ended up being deaf upon great opportunities
Only imagining what I really wanted in life
Playing like a movie inside my own head


Despite all of this, depression
I will always fight against you
No more self-doubt
No more mental afflictions
There will be permanence
When I am no longer
Trying to numb myself from your pain


Depression, Soon I will be done


Go away, far away!
Tread beyond my own compression
Get lost and feel alone
And understand how it all feels


My life would have been so much better
But you are not to blame
This is all on me
For giving you the light of each of my days


I express myself not for pity
Not because I want to give in
But to know I can use depression
As a weapon against itself
To find more strength
Unknown
But now...


Depression, I am living
More and more without any fear
Perhaps it was you
Who really felt safer with me?
I have turned into an introvert
But with time my whole heart
It will all be released


Though, you are still around
At times using comfort against me


I do realize
With each spec of time
Certain future moments
Will finally be flow gracefully?
Cleared and freed


In this life of agony
I will defeat you for good
Killing any doubt
That comes my way



I exist



Coexisting
As my own genesis
Will ride into a better personal revelation
With so much positivity
Never looking behind only ahead


I shall explode out from
My own cosmic egg
So my past doubts
Can shells of their former selfish selves
Dead, lifeless, rotting in decaying disarray


I am happy
Never knew I could go that way
Into fighting life and everything
Becoming a better man each day


Depression, you might come on by
Try using doubt against me again



Yet, unbeknownst to you
I have learned so much about my own strength
And you grow weaker
Day by day by day



Upon my own big bang
My own universe shall be eternally freed



Someday
Someday
Someday



Oh, and right now everything is all okay. No worries
Do you not truly know me yet?


Someday