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Sometimes

Sometimes it is difficult for me to understand you
You said that once, while we were standing in the balcony
Enjoying the soothing breeze
You are a way too cool
I want to know how if you are furious
Will you cry, or shout, or throw something?

I am a Javanese woman, you know
Raised conservatively
We are trained not to show our feelings too openly
Especially anger and sadness
We will be considered as mature
If we can control our feelings and behaviour well
Have to stay modest, not to show off our ability
So others will feel easy to give us information or advice
Never show off our wealth, our belongings, and our luck
That will evoke jealousy to other people around us
And the poor and the unfortunate people will feel more miserable

It is sometimes hard for me to know your feelings
You seldom express your feeling, you added

Sorry, that is how I have been raised
I did not realize it before
Until you told me that
Yes, sometimes, we can understand ourselves
When we get out of the circle
And see ourselves from the distance
I admit that I find difficulties sometimes
To express my feelings
Even sometimes I cannot recognize my own desire
I have not been trained for that
Very few are my vocabularies about feelings
And you know what?
You help me much to understand myself better

You smiled
It's so nice to learn you
You held my shoulders, and raised my chin
Ah....you were always expert at helping me recognize my own desire
I wanted you much
And we kissed so passionately.

(Indonesia,5 November 2013)

Submitted: Monday, November 04, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, November 06, 2013


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

To understand this poem better, you have to read my previous poems in a sequence: I Informed You, 'I am Pregnant', I Will Not Leak Our Secret Relationship, Choice, Our Small Paradise, All About You and Me, I Will Be Safe, Favourite Things We Did, Love and In Love, You Are My Property, Driving in a sequence. Click on the Poet's Page next to the profile photo

Comments about this poem (Don't Be in Love with Me by Nur Meiyati )

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  • Tiku . (11/4/2013 7:57:00 PM)

    very nice.full of love and care it flows so nice.liked it.

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