Teeny Tiny With A Taser Poem by Daniel B. Syphus

</>I’ve heard don’t run with scissors,
Take care not to spill the salt,
You shouldn’t walk under that ladder,
For you’ll cause good luck to halt.

Don’t make a mirror shatter
Don’t look into that laser!
There ain’t much could be bader
‘cept that toddler with the Taser!

He’s got a mischievous grin
Upon his face so proud
Who dares to take it from him
Within this cowering crowd

He squeals as one approaches
And brings the gun to aim
He has no real idea
Of how this thing can maim.

Everyone retreats now
He pursues across the room
The plot begins to thicken
As mom reaches for the broom


Dad has taken cover
Mom gives him a scowl
While Jr. advances onward
Like a tiger on the prowl.

Will he pull the trigger soon?
His toothless grin reveals
His designs lack understanding
Of how this wound will feel

His tiny fingers tighten
Do we sense a spark?
As all begin to question
Where will it find it’s mark?

Daddy finds reprieve now
And offers up a prayer
As baby turns toward his grandpa
Still napping in the chair

Grandpa’s hard of hearing
He’s missed all the fun
Everyone lets out a gasp
‘Cause Jr’s on the run

Grandma’s lost her dentures
She’s very near to swoon
From baby’s misadventures
This fateful afternoon

Teeny tiny senses worry now
His face shows some concern
For even though he’s very young
He’s old enough to learn

He’s giving up the Taser now
He just released his grip
It falls safely to his daddy’s hand
But Daddy lets it slip.