Tell Your Momma! Poem by Randy McClave

I will call your momma! she will scream and shout;
She always retaliates whenever I cause her to get mad or pout;
She says she'll tell my momma what I am really about;
Then she points her finger at me and tells me to shut up, and then get out.

Being a wedded couple it is such a blissful life;
That is if you can stand the screaming and shouting and also the strife,
But, of course if you are married to a jealous, judgmental and hot tempered wife;
Best keep her away from the pots and pans the forks and especially the knife.

Keep a wife happy and in your life you will have nothing ever to fear;
But, when you make that one mistake, until the end of time about it you will hear;
So, I tell all men, away from your own happiness you should quickly steer;
As a wife's memory and not the devil, is what all men should truly fear.

When she gets angry at me she is always ready to argue and fight,
She will do all that she can to win as she is never wrong and I am never right;
Being man and wife I heard it is the greatest compliment in GOD’s sight;
But, now that I think about holy matrimony, there must have been an oversight.

Call my momma! I am about to say as I don't care about her threat anymore,
I have been threatened long enough, to her I wish to say with a roar;
So go ahead and tell my momma all about me, just don’t get distressed and sore,
Let's us be a blissful couple, as you said that we would be, once before.

So when she gets furious and hot tempered and stubbornly mad;
When she screams at me that I am evil and mean and just down right very bad;
One day I will be fed up with her threats and her accusations and I will be glad;
I will say go ahead and call my momma, as I am just like her husband; my dad.

Randy L. McClave