That Damn Dog Poem by Randy Johnson

When I went on a picnic, I wondered why the sandwiches were wet.
I ate two of them and it was something that I'd soon regret.
It was revolting and drastic.
My dog wet on the picnic basket.
I ate the sandwiches when my wife handed them to me.
I wondered why they smelled and tasted like pee.
When I learned that the sandwiches had been peed on, I threw up.
I sold that damn dog that I'd had since he was a pup.
When I puked my guts out, I was not pleased.
I'll never again be able to eat bologna and cheese.