The Balladof The Ss Dalhousie Poem by Les Littleford

With Launceston rapidly growing,
public health was a topic of choice.
With debate and opinion flowing
Edward Ackerman added his voice.

Though health was a worrying matter,
genteel manners dictated good taste, p
and bathing in public would shatter
those values so carefully embraced.

Notwithstanding, our mighty inventor
had an answer for all this debate.
He developed the first real health centre,
which would help even smallpox abate.

On the banks of the swift flowing Tamar
baths hot, cold and steaming he made.
Galvanic, saltwater and vapour,
our Ted had a good eye for trade.

Not one to sit back in his glory,
a disused old steamer he bought,
and planned an exciting new story
to provide yet more flexible sport.

The SS Dalhousie he founded,
an original concept bizarre.
A floating gymnasium, compounded
with swimming pool, dance floor and bar.

With the gallant tug Tamar's propulsion,
tt could carry huge parties all day,
giving patrons no further compulsion
than relaxing: swim, rest and play.

But alas on one Boxing Day outing
two rascals were searching for fun,
below decks they went both keenly scouting
And found some big valves - which they spun.



In no time Dalhousie was sinking,
A disaster loomed worse than the flood
saved only by Captain's quick thinking,
as he beached those quaint baths on the mud.

The Honourable Society of Rechabites,
who had hired the Dalhousie that day,
gave the skipper a watch for his insights,
a cheap thank you the locals did say.

But alas for poor Ted our inventor,
the council declared a big 'Nay',
and his dream of great fame from this centre
sank with the Dalhousie that day.

But despite this poor failed endeavour
his self image never congealed,
and he went to his grave a believer
in his genius never revealed.