The Brown Polar Bear Poem by George Hunter

One day while flying through the air
I thought I saw a polar bear.
His fleece was not as white as snow
So maybe it just wasn't so.
His fur was kinda gray and brown
And on his face a vicious frown.
He snapped at me and barely missed
And I could tell that he was pissed.
I didn't wait around to see
But lit out for the nearest tree.
I climbed into the leafy green
And tried to keep from being seen.
He saw me there and said, so sweet
Come on back down and be my treat.
You sure look good enough to eat
And I need some fresh-caught meat.
My diet hardly ever varies
And I'm tired of eating roots and berries.
Please, Mister Bear, try to be fair
And get the eff out of my hair.
I hate to be a boastful show-off
But your sorry ass I'll have to blow-off.
He took one look at my big rifle
And realized he should not trifle.
He spread his wings and flew away
Saying, I'll get you another day.
So hurriedly I climbed back down
And soared away without a sound.
I woke up lying on my back
Back at home in my fart sack.
Why must dreams be so very scary
They should be more like Tom & Jerry.
Maybe it's something I have et
That Tex-Mex chili will get me yet.
I'll lie back down, it will be best
If I can get some peaceful rest.
All I can say, and here I quote,
"This is the dumbest rhyme I ever wrote!