John F. McCullagh
The Crime of Valentine
It was Love in the dock
at old Bailey this time.
It was Love stood accused
Of unspeakable crimes..
Some ladies had joined
in a class action suit.
It concerned breech of promise
and the theft of their youth.
The ladies bore witness
That Love pulled a fraud.
That those frogs weren’t Princes-
That Love is a baud.
Love’s sole defense
Was that Love was traduced
Who knew his young swains
Weren’t speaking the truth?
Love is known to be patient
and reputed as kind...
but men fear committment
to Ladies who whine.
Love's an old fashioned emotion, .
Like honor and truth-
Love was found guilty
of misleading our youth.
Henceforth candy hearts
Must bear warning labels
And show calorie counts
Along with the flavors.
Boxes of Roses
Must bear warnings too:
This Cad may talk sweet-
But he’s not into you.
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Comments about this poem (The Crime of Valentine by John F. McCullagh )
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(15 April 1958)
(27 October 1914 – 9 November 1953)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
(31 October 1795 – 23 February 1821)
(13 September 1916 – 23 November 1990)
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(26 April 1564 - 23 April 1616)
- Heather Burns