The Duvet Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

I wanted a nice new du-vet
And chose one in lovely white cotton
I bought it last week off e-Bay
But it turned out to be pretty rotten

It was described to me as brand new
'An item fit for a queen'
But it looked to be covered in spew
And had a toenail stuck in a seam

I thought I’d just give it a scrub
With a bit of Persil and Shout
But as soon as it went in the tub
A con-dom came floating out

I contacted the seller and said
“This du-vet is not as described
It doesn’t look good on my bed
Your description was chock full of lies”

He told me he was so sorry
But listing these things is a drag
He told me to return the unwanted duvet
With the bits in a separate bag

copyright Victoria George