The Note Poem by tianna graham

The fight is over I’m already gone Want it to stop Why do I go on? The emptinessThe tirednessThe hollow feeling No more reasons No attachmentsNo responsibilities No sustainable hopeJust freedom to go Eternal darkness No redemption No salvationAnd no forgiveness Just end it nowPlease just end it now Ok firstly i dont know why im writing it and i dont expect anyone to read this. I know i always try and post positive messages on here, cos so many of you are fighting stuff so much worse that what im dealing with. And after 10 years you'd think i could deal with all this, its not new any more. But i cant deal with everything any more. Ive been fighting for so long and it gets easier sometimes, but then i go back to being like this. I want my life back i dont want to feel like this any more. I want to be able to be happy or sad without the fear that im freking out the people around me. Right now i just want to sleep (havent been able to in over 2 years) and never wake up. Im not actively considering suicide, though i have the means and an empty flat if i need to, i just dont see why i should fight this any more. im so tired, i cant eat, i have no energy to do anythng, my works falling to bits and this isnt a life its not even a great existance. Oh and by the way my boyfriend couldnt take the depression and is living with another gurl now, so i totally alone just at the right time. I really do just wish i was dead right now. I know u all have had times (or are having it right now) where u feel like this but i had to speak about it. cant talk to anyone at work they'll send me straight to the hospital in an instent and then i wont even have u guys to talk to. Ok i can see this is making no sense and so im gonna go. Thanks to anyone who's managed to read this.