niranjan subhashsivan

Rookie (29-07-1980 / Trivandrum)

The Sorrow of A Hedgehog


I hear a deep mourn of pain
It's from a hedgehog's vein
For it is prevented feom action
Its reason kills its passion
It knows its poking thornes
That reason stunns its bones

Though it wishes to cherish
A little dreams in a cradle
It fears the fate and perish
Often fall on it as a saddle
Can it embrace a virgin's bower
If he cares it as a pretty flower

It fears the wound of love
Which the fate may given to a dove
It is all love and love only
In tender and gentle kept its soul
I hear the cry again and again
But it knows it's in vein

Submitted: Monday, August 28, 2006
Edited: Saturday, August 28, 2010

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Comments about this poem (The Sorrow of A Hedgehog by niranjan subhashsivan )

  • Rookie Eila Mahima Jaipaul (11/8/2006 11:00:00 AM)

    Subhash,

    I like the premise of the poem and the feelings it conveys, but your rhyme and meter distract me from your message. It seems as though I get into a good reading rhythm then its lost… that leaves me wandering a bit through the piece with nothing to hold on to.

    There are good ‘bones’ in the work, I’d think about your use of rhyme in making it more cohesive and stronger.

    -Eila (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Onida (9/3/2006 5:13:00 AM)

    great go!
    a very emotional one! !
    jus' gr8 (Report) Reply

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